Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2004 13:19:43 EST

I think I got it
Now, what to do with it?
I think it's too late to sobre up
So I better try to save
Before I lose it all
Jeff was here yesterday


Gilman tagged along
How can one say no
This part I haven,t got the knack of
Come save me
Again...
Bev and I sure enjoyed your visit
Try to do so again
At your leisure..
I love you...
You know that..,
I'm surely not getting younger

Yet you loved me
When I was poor
Love me some more,

ed the visit

See?
I don't know my way
Yet...
Someday I may
If it's not too late

I recieved a hardbound copy of the
Lord of the Rings
( For Christmas


without being rude?



Date: Sat, 3 Jan 2004 14:12:37 EST

Ithink so...
Yet if sobre
May well drift away
Thinking of walking those roads again..
That would be a small price to pay
If it let's us walk again...
I would surely stand the pain
Whatever would keep these dreams alive
For all else, I do apologise

My dearest friend
I hope we have the chance
To travel some some roads again

Padugi,



Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2004 03:07:21 EST

Thanks for further blessing my life
If you could cook
I would be you're wife
( But I'm Not one to wear a dress
At this late age ]
So I'll look another page
Of your journal
Up on the stage
Of the Actors
We once were
Of travels nearly there

Tom and Jeff were up
I had to show you off
They loved it all so far
Except my smoker's cough
I imagine you'll hear from them
They were quite delighted
I'm going to try right now
To see what your quest
Resighted



Date: Fri, 9 Jan 2004 05:52:05 EST

I tried to write something funny
The keyboard killed me
It could have been
Even worse
I don"t know how S

See How
( Secromehowe)
This is all in code
It means i Love you ,man
You are to humble abode
For alll time



Date: Sun, 1 Feb 2004 03:15:37 EST

I was just here,
but went somewhere
Something to do
But I didn't care
Talk to me if able
Or let this never ending fable
Carry on...

Padugi



Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 05:10:22 EST

Years of you and I
Through the history
Of the other guy

Songs we made
Words we played
Some long lost
Some remembered

Again the night is gone...
I must be riding on
Thank you for quarters
The strength to fight again

Until the otherworld
Or a world that not yet's been
Even the Underworld
I would journey with you
Friend
Roads we travelled
I would like to see again

Trips we had
Staying nowhere far
Flights we took
Needing no more than a car



Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 06:10:55 EST

Son of a butch !
I think I fingered something out...
There's a few roads l
eft fo Doubt
We can still travel together
I may have pushed one too many buttons?Or does the New World often break?
Goin' to bed



Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2004 05:34:42 EST

I will gladly pay
For a copy of your books
If you'll let me borrow
On my good looks

It's really been a trip
Yet I'm still in this chair
Leaving without going anywhere
Come home soon
I'll never make it there
You know I would
If I had time to spare

Time has caught on
Can't cheat it anymore
We're getting old
Cantankerous and sore
At least I did
Become what I had fought
One of the many
Who do not want to be caught

gotta go and revegitate

Love to all.



Date: Sun, 15 Feb 2004 04:07:57 EST

I caught a mere glimpse of your sight
I am amazed
Glad you're doing alright
To April Fools
I drink a beer everynight

Here's to you
My sincere accolade
Knowing from the first
You already made the grade

Gotta go surfing for you now...three, two, one...

padugi



Date: Sat, 21 Feb 2004 22:53:40 EST

I assume you are reading this,
But I've been presumptuous before
,So I'll say no more
If you want to read
I'd love to write

I think this is as close as we'll get
To let's not forget
What we were living for
A path,
A trip to Nevermore...
A land of dreams
Forgotten lore
A make it up as you go kind of history
A transcendental mystery
To which we'll reembark
If time allows
God grant another moment I may spend with you

Until that instant
We must try to stay alive
We've lost friends
We need to lose no more
Yet we will...

I talk to you
Though it must never leave this room
I'm being hunted
By the Angel of Doom

Oh well
Hell is on it's way
Maybe a little early
Surely here to stay

There must be other worlds
Hence no loathe to leave...

If not for you
My friend.
I may already have payed the toll
To the road with no end
Any end we hope te to know
It will come
Later or soon
Why do they wonder
I howl at the Moon ?

Love to all you care for...
To me that's everyone you know

And all creatures
Now I gotta go

Padugi



Date: Sun, 22 Feb 2004 15:23:00 EST

I wonder and wander
Ceaselessly amazed
Accused of being crazed
Pleading guilty
Drugstruck and dazed

I was what I am
I am what soon may be
With your love
We shall be
Limitless...

You have changed my life
I hope I have your's
Friends of Mine
Friends true and sure

I hope you keep me in your heart
As I hold you in mine
Until another place
Another space and time...

( gotta go grab a puff...)

Back now
In a way
I hope this brightens
A nightly day
I will be here
Come what may
A sword by your side
Wordly play

You must keep my love
Send it back to me...
We will see,
My love
One certainty
In the End
I hope you are there...

Love me,

padugi

• See Silly, Sexy Movies
• Stake Out True Crime
• Find Your Lost Family?
• Enter Chat of the Day



Date: Thu, 4 Mar 2004 06:11:53 EST

You gonna pay the postage ?
Should I travel there myself ?
One often wonders
As they wander
How far dare we go ?

I walk the night...
I'll never know

In memories of you
In death I'll carry on
In tomb or legacy
You were the one...
If I lead the way
First one gone...
You know I'll find a way
To ensure the bridge is drawn

At the last stand
I would wish your sword
Was at my right hand

Mine forever yours
At your side
In a moment ride
to your friend's and family
If there were ever a need

We are a certain breed
Two of akind
That's something
I don't mind


Luv me ?



Date: Fri, 5 Mar 2004 05:31:02 EST

Dear Oreganus,

I feel the time coming near
Not really voices I hear

A knowing it Has to be
A calling
A meant to be

We will meet again
To that I pray
We will meet again
Someday

Moses led me here
Though I followed by myself


Now for some serious bullshit

Was upstairs
Trying to get higher
Then thought...
" Let's Electronate my dear friend "

I guess I'm pretty upstairs
Though I just came down
So here we go...

This is Us
Paul and Dudley
Friends of yours and mine

Wasn,t that short and sweet ?

Actually have been playing again
Very so out of shape
But writing new ground
Things I have to do

Tonight I wrote a song
Meant for you

Seriuosly,
You

Now I'm too upstairs
So you'll have to wait your turn

As for me
Another match to burn

padugi



Date: Sat, 6 Mar 2004 03:49:59 EST

Thanks to you
And the life we shared
We were places
Some wouldn't dare
As if we cared

If there are places needing transit
We 'll be there
A road that invites
By so little use
We can't refuse

Its'in our souls
A meeting of the spirit
A bond meant to be never broken...

Now, I have spoken...
What say you?..

Padugi,

With all of my love



Date: Sat, 6 Mar 2004 17:57:12 EST

I seem to have a problem with problems
It somewhat puzzles me
A riddle possibly
An enigma
Constantly
I am confused
I admit
By unanswered questions
I forget
The certainty of doubt
The element of chaos
On my Walkabout

We should we walk again the road
That led us here
On our quest
For a glimpse of truth
An echo of two spirits
In the prime of their youth

Will you still love me as I age ?
Or just turn the page ?

Some people touch your soul
Some connect
Make you whole
Some just kinda wander in

You are a class of your own

One of the greatest men I've ever known...

I mean every lie...

Padugi to you

Sleep well
But know I may visit
We both deserve it

My budgets too tight
So it might be a while
'Til then when you think of me...
I hope you smile........................................

Padugi

your pal....

gottta go high/high
so I can go nigh/nigh
( But I gotta make jerky first}

I want to be a Friend...
I hope I'm not the worst...

I love this not talking all at once
Just spilling the beans
Noone stopping
Saying " I know what you mean "



Date: Sun, 7 Mar 2004 23:51:45 EST

AGAIN I lost the trail
The scent of what might have been

Too old to lead the pack
Too young to die

Where does it go from Here ?
Glad to hear another howl
Another voice
In the wild

Would you be my problem child ?
May I be yours ?

Forevermore
Padugi Wisconus



Date: Sun, 14 Mar 2004 05:04:46 EST

I think I may have lost my mind I
For sure flesh control
You've me living
Mind and Soul

Forgive me for thanking you
For being my friend
" I know that if I could
I'd do it all over again..."

I certainly would
Even return if we could
To alleys of our youth...
Our search for truth
WILL NEVER END
We're the kind of men
Who people seldom see again
Who remember when

People like you and I
Laughed as the days went by
You taught so many things
The impact knowledge brings

The brain must compete
With electronic rival
Soon for our own survival

Thought I'd talk while I can
Love .
Clonoman

Aka Padugi



Date: Mon, 15 Mar 2004 04:30:19 EST

This is my reply...

Dearly beloved
Let's drink a toast
To the next we leave behind
Keep them in mind
Soon enough our time
No denying it

We've shared wine
And clandestine opportunities
Talked for miles
When nights ended too soon
Seeking the sun
Mourning the moon

Trips...
Searching for stars...
Or ordinary bars
God, Iloved it
That's no shit
Things were young back then...

Can you actually that I'm drfdunk
From that far away?

Man yuo're GOOD !
I'm persnitzled...

Oly called today, told me he and his brother Craig, and my brothr Tom
Got together last ( or was it this ?
) weekend

Is that fucked up or not ?
I better go,
I said I'd fuck up Oly too...
Lord of the Blue
Must leave ...
Do not grieve
We will be back again
What shall we do ?
Right Then

Bring me a pistol in your pocket
I miss you that much
Beloved of my peers
Empathetic mind

I pray there's a road to travel
As we complain of our old pains
Never to walk again
Is our Fortune
The worms explain
Eat your Fortune Cookies
Drink that champagne...

" Wow'..
Bettter go back t0o earth
Visit the foster folks
One more smoke
And a glass of Kryptonite

Lord,
I miss you
Though these are nesseszary miles
A trip with you again
A quest for reptiles and pathogens
Me, my big mouth
You with your lens

Last call for Uncle Paul
Love and admiration
Gotta go
Thought let both know
You are hoped for here
Now, for another beer
The end of the show

padugi
@ send mike spam.dud



Date: Sun, 21 Mar 2004 06:32:23 EST

Soulmate
Intimate friend
I need to talk to you again


Played today...

Believe it don't...

There before my eyes I saw...

Jeff and his wicked guitar
His brother Craig playing his too far...
( He's really good )
Gilman with saxophone
And a guitar of his own
" Good God there was Steve on the drums"

It was awesome

But inside I wonder
If they placate me
As we departed


ndering endlessy inside

 



Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2004 15:15:38 EST

sweet thoughts of you
as i'm starting a new day
the cd's ? not yet
but we're on the way
gotta notice
from the post office
that says 'come out and play...
gotta go
a few minutes ago
so i better

best memories

padugi



Date: Sat, 3 Apr 2004 19:04:58 EST

Once in while you could call, she said
I don't get to see many friends...
Everyone's going now
Coming back now and then
Picking up stars
To guide
Joking 'bout where we've been

I miss you.
Dear brother
Often wonder how you've been
In certain hopes
I pray
I'll see you again

'Til death do us part
I mean it
All my heart
I have left to give
Is yours
If you would carry the burden
I once bore
In this world
Evermore...
n



Date: Sun, 4 Apr 2004 19:34:56 EDT

Mimo

Long time no type
I'd better recomedy this situation
I still think of you
Once in a while even pleasently
( kidding )

Jeff is all agog
With your wish for more
Shamans Blues
Wants you to know
They're on the way
Someday

Sill waiting for a sample
Of Oreguana
Have the best both worlds
So no hurry
Proceed as you seem fit
I'll share my life
If you want part of it

padugi



Date: Tue, 6 Apr 2004 04:10:32 EDT

Have recieved
Yet to hear
Did not stay between
Was far from clean
Spent some time with a nephew
Should've known I can't keep up
Though he passed out at the hobbit's
( my buddy Lori's )
While most of my body made it home...
Sternum severely beaten if not broken
Wallet still smokin'
As the wife sure was

What the Hell...
A
little tokin'
Laugh at me
Under the ever too much
To kill the pain and such
Caught in a whirlpool
Eddying down
The class clown
And near Valedictorian

The roads have always been
2 short or long
As with the songs
That followed them
Still dreams of where back then
Did we go ?
Will we ever know ?

Again I have to go
Leave you for a while
Work ahead
What i still need to do
To keep the spiritS up
For the understanding few

padugi



Date: Wed, 7 Apr 2004 06:47:18 EDT

Is this the same duckworks
I lost my vrginity to ?
I hope so
I need to
One more time again
Travel roads
We've never been
What left will there be then ?

While the power still flows
Between our two cities
Our voices outspoken between the lines
I need to hear more
Your voice
And your pictures of time

Gotta toke a Daffodil
And nurture any,grown...

I sure love you...
You know I always will
Some walks and dreams
Ongoing needs to fulfill'

I dare we will
We were meant to soar
Yet not be blazoned

Will you love me back ?
Is that too much to ask
After all I borrowed
AFTER awife attack
Listening to your music

She was pissed
Hence I rebuked
I think I lost But don"t care a reproduction
Somewhere there must be life as we know it
Too bad it isn['t on
Terraho

Very likelely enjoyed your selections of your sounndtrack
Haven't exactly
Stayayed between
Or kept too clean
t



Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2004 02:46:06 EDT

So little time for slumber
Yet I waste it
Chasing you
Though the days are numbered
We're allotted all too few
Time or two to fly again
As eaglets often do
To find the wind
Test these wings anew

Breathe the air untouched
Taste the heavens pristine air
With you there
Would be more than I could bear

That's why I send my messages
In a bottle
As I nurse the last of mine
Ringa-Ding-a_Dee-ot'll
For the lack of rhyme or Reason

Hoping to find refuge
Beneath insanity
Assured that is where you'll look for me...

The little boy
With his hand me downs
Homeade joy
From his searcharounds
Old enough for a Walkabout
Who can assist
On this path of doubt ?

Few I know...

You my love
For sure...
That is the way we were...

Padugi



Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 04:59:34 EDT

Done deal
As it needs to be
Burnt offerings for you
Pray you burn one for me...
Such a slight burden to bear
For one another
Especially one such as you
The wind blows in it's own direction
Tiresome, yet true
( At least when I was young
that's what it used to do...}
If it continues to
My smoke
Will drift your way
A smell of
" Welcome my Friend ..."

" I'll have dreams of you again
Someday along the way
From leaves that rush
With the wind
To dreams so far away "

Someday I hope to remit
My debt to your friendship
Pay back the love
You gave to me
Someday soon
Soon it must be
Someday won't always be

' Til then
I wished you blessings
If there's anything
I have left to give
Hoping you carrry on
Reasons that I live

Very few my friends
I name by your trust
Some for survival
Some for escape
May have to do what it takea



Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 05:16:59 EDT

I hear a voice in the wild blues
Some lost peoples
Nothing left to lose
Crying one last time

SEE ME BEFORE I GO

If time will let us dare
Walk those long and lonely miles

I dream of you
In so many ways
Hoping to recall
Golden days of youth

A search at night for the truth
We still believed in
Each praying we still do

Gotta go
Yet need talk to you
You are one of the best things
That happened to my life
( A line I sincerely use on my wife )
Applies to you
I respect a cogent one

Not feeling fatal
Though deathfully near
Is not the reason I Seek you
It's more out of fear
I'll accomplish nothing
If noone hears
The echo along the river



Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 05:44:27 EDT

So glad I spent my time with you
Seems so little left to do...
Olden days
Outnumber the new
.A path well chosen...
One we we both travelled through
i hope to travel again
With you...

As soon as I am well
Which may be never...
We'll think of something clever
To do...
To twist distorted images
Bend mallable hopes

Each one an Artist...
Painter of stars...
Wonderers of Wanderers
Gone too far
So distant a dream
Near reality
If one more time
You will walk with me

Best dreams...

padugi



Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 06:03:17 EDT

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNoone
Talks to me
I try so hard
To be unpredictable
Bad ain't good enough

So much for that
Too much of this,
On my flowers
A goodbye kiss...
Beneath the stone
I hope you will miss...
Out of pity my soul

Tried hard to be acceptable
To most who don't like me
May even disagee
Over what is what
Sometimes even..
What is not...

padugi



Date: Sun, 18 Apr 2004 05:24:43 EDT

Very interesting
Must visit again
The mammoth of the pixals
Surely a dearest friend
Send more to me
Time and again

I want to see through your eyes
Beauty I would have missed
But for you...

On your journey's
In which I did not share
Show me the beauty
Of really being there

Let me feel the light
Breathe the air
Of someplace that could be
Anywhere...

I'll find you...
If you don't
Run too far...
...
Out of love only
Did we care so much
That's the reason
To stay in touch....

Padugi



Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 06:32:47 EDT

I search for sleep in my slumber
What can anyone do...
After a love like you?

My days were numbered
When we were through
What can I do?
What can I do ?..

Moze et al...

That was a practice serious session...

When I reawaken
My wings are yours
I would fly with you
Anywhere..

I certainly want to share your history...
Remember the mystery
Of how we met ?
I never will forget...
You were a gifted child...
one you hadn't met
Didn't plan on....
Lately haven't not missed you

Ain't this way too fab ?
Should they send me
To a pscho-

Lab ?

It's up to y

ou



Date: Wed, 21 Apr 2004 05:36:22 EDT

Another dream
There you were
Some lost melody
Someplace unsure...

Perhaps I sleep too much
Most likely true
An excuse to spend
More time with you...

Relive our future days
Heal the cicatrix
Sing like we used to care
As we truly did back then

Wherever did the Error begin ?
Not with us
Would never have been
Such Evil
As seen so soon..
Fights for desert
Instead of moons

What became of us ?
A world war came to peace
Still no solution
Fringes at unease...

999999999999 Enough of that9999999999

I miss you more than you know
I,m not ashamed to say
Many a time you were
The light in my day

Kiss the wife for me
( I wish I could )
You done good
She seems terribly wonderful
What little time you spared
To share her with me
( Or did I scare her off ,
or love you too much ? )
That could never be...

For I'll Always keep you in mind
I think with her
You really have a find
She was wonderful
A beauty to the blind...
Say hello for me

Dreams are starting to creep in
Places remind me of where we've been
A pillow's the place I need



Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 05:13:08 EDT

I think I found you again...
I'm so glad
So very precociuos lad
You were ...
Even before me...
A giant of your own
Magnitude

My cudos
If any
Were you were accepted among many
Where there may have been few
Who knew
The treasure you are...

" Still picture you standing there...
Freeform artwork blowing in your hair
As you ask
Why is it you care
Can't stop the child going anywhere..."

Cautious of my mail
There have been Happy Threats
Must keep the pipe a' ready
Kiss the wife for me
You know I would
If she let me
Happy for you
So glad to be
Part of this maturity

Have hope
While we continue

Which means it's not the End
" the End of season again..."

I pray for a few more grayhairs with you
A few more at what
We once did do
Somehow we live
Each a different gift
To give

A solemn knowledge
Best of friends
Only hope
Will I see you again ?

You will...
If you look in the wind

Padugi



Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2004 05:23:31 EDT

Well may be
Time to hunker down...
This thorny crown
We all wear
Grows so heavey
On one so slight as.....I.....
Thank god for Light....
...These friend's of mine...

Debts I owe
I certainly know
I can never repay...
Still you send gifts...

So dear a friend....
I,m humbled to be yours...
You said...
Prayers I never knew...
Yet knew existed...

A total soul untwisted,...

Hope you,re able...
Share the dreams...
Age isn,t as bad as it seems
With friends like you
It flows like summemr streams



Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2004 05:19:31 EDT

Moze,

You remembered me...
On the day that I began
I thank you...
Friend..

So do 5 other

" Friends of Mine "
We shared a very special evening
Eachone at a time
One even saying
" This is what it should be "
( not the crap we get )
Could be my best Birthday present yet

That's like you to do the unexpected
I love it,
We're equally bizzarre ?

Hence my respect and awe
Of the way things are..

Being with the Shaman's Blues
So long....
May have left a problem child...

I trust you are not
From what I recieved
.You're still running and free


Gotta go

You done me goood...

Padugi..



Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2004 16:55:12 EDT

moze,

I had an Ms but lost it
She say's
Lay down
We have to make Mistakes
T o learn
Sh's always rite


Good Lord

I love you
and learning to love ME too
It's about time...
[Half a century and more...)
Self respect
I think I merit
Took this long
Now it's meaningful
Words of yours
Echo in my soul
While I still picture you standing there...

You immortalize
Mankind's transit
Images one can't forget...

Happy Birthday to Me !
Thanks to you !

Too Good a time
On your behalf
With friends of mine



Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2004 23:44:08 EDT

This is what I like...
A captive audiance
While the critics are on strike
We can sing a while...
Or sit...
With eyes talking without speaking...
( Don't you love my abuse of "... " ? )
I still remember you...
Picture a future
We could go through....( See ? )
I know better now.. (you kidding ? )
Hoping the past was not too curious a place
To begin with
" Oh, I forgot

We were never young ...
This trail was often ridden
By the same as you before
The one's
Make two.s A pair...

( Whar wa rgar ?



Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:36:30 EDT

Frozen dinner well heated
How much better does life get ?

Sometimes an E surprise
Or birthday card,
You bet...
There's them damn "..." again
I'll never lose the curse
It could be worse...
Somehow...( See ? )
Set me free
Let's go where we used to be...
( That'll teach me...
A lesson needed learned )

You are Top-soil to my soul
( Yummmy )
Some fires burned
Consumed me whole
That was one of them !



Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 11:25:45 EDT

One more dream before I sleep
Another passing thought
Flitting moment
Meant to keep
Released as soon as caught

Torrents of reality
Eat the very bones
I have little left of
Talk to me
" Friends of mine "

Padugi



Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 15:15:17 EDT

Noone listens
Why do I talk ?
To hear the echo of my voice ?
Perhaps...

I have no choice
But to speak
Even incoherently
More or less mute
The audiance

I have no cares
They said my time is unlimited
Which pays for itself
With all the potty breaks

" Where go the Days ? "
Merely let them slip away...

Once we went out to play...
" Where go the Days ? "

Each of us
An entity
Like no other
Yet still brothers of a kind

Something's very strongly
Trying to reconnect
I think it's right and proper
A Lust for everyone
I could have missed
Even those I might have pissed off
I wish to make amends

I may never see you again...

Padugi



Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 22:26:09 EDT

Ummm...
Canned chinese,
How good does it get ?
Actually isn't bad
For prison food...

I must drowse
Good evening
Goodnight..,

Padugi



Date: Mon, 26 Apr 2004 01:36:40 EDT

Midnight awakening
Time for one more...
(... Hee Hee.. ) Love those(....)
Started filing my E-mails
Not done yet...
Still praying for more
Been duping to Chick and Jeff...
Haven't heard a word.
The passion's in the doing

Let's do some more...

There are hearts left to win
Before we begin to start over
Places we've been
Left to explain

I've been around
You've been further
I need one more trip again...

Sail with me
One more time into Heaven
Before I have to go the other way
Show me pictures of yesterday

We may yet have time
" Sure, You got Denise...
Who would want to die ! )
Me...
An orator with no soap box
And slightly filthy dreams
We are what we are
Until we know better

Love to all who knew me

Padugi



Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2004 05:05:37 EDT

Time to write
Before Ieave
Though few replies
I do believe
I'm getting somewhere

Talk to me of ten. friend...
Fifty again..?
Too much to discuss

Moze may share our Independence Day
A true holiday
When grown men get to play
Our women let us get away...

To be ourselves
Nobody else.

Sad but true...
I need attention
From all of you

Keep me alert
What would that hurt..?
A message in a bottle
A carving,
In " Stone.."

For all the Love I shared
Don't let me wither alone...
Wasting away,
Through no wish of my own..,

The only life I've known...


Padugi



Date: Sat, 1 May 2004 05:16:36 EDT

Once in while you could call...
I dont get to see many friends.

Where go the days ?
Merely let them slip away...

Until the night I hideaway

Noone left to portray
Where go the days?
Took a trip trip to the sea to see

Calico...
So glad you found me...
Your love all around me...
Calico...

It's never easy
Many setbacks
If you search against the facts,
You'll reach,
Like me...
The E nd of the Tracks.

Jeff,
Moze lives at ( Or should I say )
@ ?

mmorse@duckorks.net

You would really enjoy
His experiences
You feel how I feel
His life is real
Has pictures to prove it
I probably would wash his shoes...
Thank God !
He wore sandals

Chico...
Forgot my last name ?
Don't you want in the game ?I hoped you would omputer's is at a bigger loss
Getting better...
Tho yards away...
Bad spelling is agift of idle objects
Faster than we were...


Padugi



Date: Sun, 2 May 2004 03:33:35 EDT

A final word
Before I sleep
I hope not forever long
Not yet...

There are things I need to say
So few left to listen
Sounds I hear today
Make Cacaphony
A pleasent huuumm...

As ever
yours and their's

Padugi



Date: Sun, 2 May 2004 23:20:48 EDT

Once again I sleep,
Perhaps to dream of you...
What else can I do ?,..
Such a married one,.?

I've a new friend
Who happens to be Mexican,
I definitely want
You two to meet...

He somehow picked me out
To Bond with
Of course I did
He says it grows like tomatoes
Where he lives...

Wants for me
To come home..
To his hospitality
I pray you would
Encourge me..,
Saying you'll come along

Show me your travelled worlds
Or elsewhere we need to go
An aged tenderfoot...
You used to know
Has some miles left,, ,
If so...
I'll spend them with you...

If you've any time at all..,
Share ten percent with me
My need is so desperate
As desperate as my sanity
And Vanity I never wore

Gotta Pee..,

Padugi



Date: Mon, 3 May 2004 04:03:26 EDT

Morning is hours away
Too few
By my reckoning
Better go while the the moon still howls...
Better yet,
Relieve my bowels,

Pooped out..,

Padugi



Date: Tue, 4 May 2004 05:07:10 EDT

my bags are packed
They would laugh
To see what I would carry
Arrested again...
For my pen,

Mightier than the sword,
Some say...

Wouldn't it be too perfect ?
My new Latino and you...
I might feel safe
Might be conjoined
To this adventure,

A pre-partum ecstasy
You, he and me, ( Bullshit I have to " I " )
Totally losing altitude
Hope to crash with you...
Somewhere...
Another state or country
Willl do ...
Let me see you
Once again...
Dearest friend
Time is close...
Yet I challenge the End

" I'm promised to another "

Must be Us...
Never met a greater God than You
Nor will I expect to do
Thank the Lord
You're mine
Until the time
I must be left behind,
That others may travel
Roads I left to find...

Search where you will...
I'm a dream...
Don't you see..?
A Divine Comedy...


So much from padugi

trip



Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 05:01:08 EDT

Letters in a bottle
Came back swifter...
Do I not deserve your love..?

" Could have been a better man. "

I swear one more time,
A worthy fellow traveller
For old times sakes,
If ever I actually was...

My doubts are clear ,
This would be the way to end the night...
You 'll be the Ones,
You'll be the many who said
" That's Cool Enough for Me..,"

I hope it was comradery...
I know it was,
That's all there is...
Between most of us...
At least I hope,
Of Living trust

My plan is for
Unlimited time...
To keep you alarmed
I'll dare them
...With you....

Time for this privateer
To Exit here...
Lord knows I never look
For the easy quest
Be my guest

Signing off
Thank God ! I knew sign languge

...a



Date: Thu, 6 May 2004 05:17:50 EDT

Too many nights I slumber...
Yet never sleep at all,
Waiting for a call
A sign...
Anything at all...

A symbol of the love you meant
Open to reply..

padugi.

One more smoke
Or two or two,
If agreeable
As I assume it will be
Will you journey with me ..
If I dare..?

padugi...

Again...

Love...



Date: Fri, 7 May 2004 05:01:34 EDT

Too many nights I spend without you
So many dreams we hope to share
Will we all be there,
I dare wonder..?

Certainly I came alive
Because of YOU
Again.

Will taste bittersweet memories
Of the losses of our few...
What's left of us
Should reemerge,
Commune again
In places just we knew...
Secret hideaways
Shared by me and you,

If I wax poetic,
Blame me if I love you too much

Gotta smoke something and another
Please be a brother...
Each all for us
Even beyond my soul
I offer all of my love...

" Remember me someday,
As I drift away..?


Isn't this smushy..?

I love it...

May take a year to pack for Mexico,
That's where I want to go..
If you'll go to
To watch over me
A stranger in stranger land.
In search of contraband
Information

Do I waste your mail..?
Tell me to stop
If I need to
Whatever it takes
To let me walk with you...

padugi

Love...
And then some...
Never enough for you...

Still,

PADUGI



Date: Fri, 7 May 2004 05:31:57 EDT

I f I lost contact
That was between me and Earth,
A few stars that did'nt care
Not because I wouldn't
Share my Joy with you...
Something you ALWAYS do

More than friends.
Deeply kindred souls...
Unless I'm wrong again
You'll remember
I drank and ate your food
Someone good to me...
As it should be...

You are special,
I believe I am too,..
For having known you..,

Padugi



Date: Sat, 8 May 2004 12:32:10 EDT

Coffee and beer chaser
Lovely way To start the day
Good woman gone
To gift the unborn grandchild
With another
Who has one on the way,
Twice this summer I'll grow younger
Though none of my own blood
I'll hold them deeply
As our cherished brotherhood.

Do I waste your time..?
Let me know,
We have so little left
Your's so full of talent
Mine so bereft...

For me I feel an urgency
To help complete the past
Maybe one last trip to follow
Before the road at last denies me..,

Not meaning to be a prophet of doom,
What else do I see ?
Not what I want to...
Only what will be.

Glad we shared some years
Moments I don't regret
No room for tears
I haven't vanished yet

" Where go the days ? "
Merely let them slip away
Once we went out to play,
" Wher go the days ? "

There's still a bird on my shoulder
After I fed the dog
The fishes still need tending to...
A lot of love from my creatures...
More than from so called "friends "..,

Not meaning you
Whom I need see again..,
One more road to travel
If time allows,
One more Trip together
My last dream...

Think of me
On those " Long and Lonely Nights "
I'll think of you
When I see Wonderful Sights ...

It means a lot to me
To somehow reconnect
You brought me back to life
Though I hadn't quite died yet...


Are you bringing your lovely..?
I was sure impressed
If not we'll slumber party
Only P.J. dressed

Even others do await your arrival
As much as I

The twelfth is is my birthday
On the thirthteenth I'll get high
On the other

Thank you so much, again
For once ago
And the future

Anticipating
Awaiting
Your return,

Love to burn,

Padugi



Date: Sat, 8 May 2004 21:07:42 EDT

A toke or two,
Once or twice too many...
Led me here,
Where I belong.

'Write to me often friend...
Let me know how you are.."
This gizmo still has the upper hand,
Blanks and spaces
Go where they will
Someday I'll be in command
Until...

Lostily yours.
Padugi



Date: Sun, 9 May 2004 16:27:35 EDT

Is there a
memory..?
Of...
"we were only boys ?
Not for th e

" Naturally Iced impaired "
God,
Give me a pen....
So I can talk to my friend..,
I dream to walk again..,
Your road...

Snuck a peek
At chapter 14
Blew me.

As told the wife..,
Away

What hath God wrought. ?

You scare me in delicious way
Do you have more to say..?
I'm certain you do
That's the nature of you...

I should know,
I was the one who let you go..,
When you knew it was time...
When you " Said , I,m off..."
Later.."

You returned
To my mixed appreciation,
Little of this,
Little of that,
In large amounts...

Been there,
Done that.
Thanks to you,

For now...
Gooddreams have to do

Padugi

The children we all were



Date: Mon, 10 May 2004 02:27:03 EDT

Just remembering future moments that passed away...
Who's to say..What will happen Last..?

For now,
I merely rue the day
Then let it slip away..,

Tomorrow it all starts again
Precogni?ed fear of A wasted remnant

Some time-clock robot
Wears my badge...
" Good God,
" that looks like me,.."
A smoking ruin
Not what I used to be...


Padugi

My Love...



Date: Fri, 14 May 2004 05:02:24 EDT

Too many dreams
Little slumber
As I lie awake
In the netherworld...

Some new voice
Younger than my years
Wants us to listen
A shame so soon
There are others
Who feel now
Like we did...

Did we do nothing ?
I cringe to believe
It may be so...

It is and should always be...
A Trip Trip,

One we earned the right to take
Together
Late in the long run

Late it is...
I must smoke a goodbye...
If God foresakes you
You know I never will...

{ That's not much comfort
Him being a lot heavier than I )

When all God's fail
I'll trust in you
What recourse
Left to do ?

A certainty of faith,
Not all men are evil...
Or are we ?
Do I refuse to know ?

Out of ink,
There goes the pen,
Until we trip together again
( Or first start on where we,ve been )
Past, future...
Maybe when...

It's up to you...
( God, I just love my fading...
" Is ther a choice ? )



Date: Sat, 15 May 2004 05:22:30 EDT

No way in Hell
Can I torture you
As you have surely done,
To most of Us...
You are surely one of we...

" Us "
A group I helped unfound itself...
By drinking to it's health,
Made up one tokin' moment
People that borrow
Yet never repay
Aren't...
' One of Us..."
When one offers back,
They become ..

" One of us..."

One may ask our password
which is , of course

" Are you one of
" Us ? "

The correct reply,
(Which may save you a drink )
Is....
?
Oh shit,
I may owe you a round already..,
Is this your final answer,,?

If you ask my closest friends
"Are you...,
"one of us..? ?

One best hope they are...

" Fuckin' A,.."

Or the drink's on you...
Hee Hee Hee...
( Gotcha ! )

You are the first Internet
One of " Us "
Which I accord you by right
Of E-and Postal mail
Returnings I never sent
Yet always meant
Is it worth your consider ?

Have to reread your 14th ms,
If it's what I remember
The future's clear to see

( Out of ink
I think )
so's i can't print'

Awsome I see the world
As you know it
Up above ...
Below it...

I can never pay you back...
Things you did for me..,
Looking at a wedding picture
Month of May
Bev and I..,
On our wedding day
You were more than there...
You saved that time
I felt assurety,..

Gotta listen to your lenses...
" Damn "
I need once again
To read this missive...
you actually shared with me

I 'm humbled to to be called " Friend "

I truly believe I am...
Six shots into th birthday buzz
Wondering who I was ?

I have to find you one more time

At least...
Now I have to refind you..



Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 03:30:15 EDT

For too long
I once lusted love...
' fore too long...,
I got used to it...

NOW GREYISH
Still too shy
I often wonder why we did what we do..?

You friends of mine
Have stolen heart and Time
If there are roads left to travel
I pray they,ll be with you...

From one who never left the nest..,
Except for once or 9 yrs.,
{ Those were the Best }
sometimes it seems too soon,.
To grow old
Which we did..,
Didn,t we ..? }

I am awed and amazed at your various talents,
At loss for a word
I.ll make one up...
( You can Moze-merize )
I,ll go one step better
As soon as I can walk...

So take that..!
You mental Bully..,

Dont't know if ourselves
Nonetheless others
Will understand what happened
Once or for Ever...
You caught on
As so few will...
I hope I may still...

Seems some kind of reason,.
Assuredly Rhyme
Met us twice in a lifetime..,
If not not more..,
Meant to be more than Lost Souls

Listening to April Fools soundtrack,
Knocks my panties right off........!
Of course I'm getting cold..!

When I think of you..,
I remember how far behind I am............................
Padugi



Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 03:31:11 EDT

I put my name ,
On the group of friends I wish to share..,
Now AOL doesn't have to care
That I talk to myself,
I'll see you there...
In Testaprinterland...
1`23...
Go !
{ which I gotta do..}


Greatly dream
O f ALL of you.......

Padugi



Date: Sat, 22 May 2004 12:25:41 EDT

too late in the day
for new horizons,
so little time
one may need,
So What In The Hell
Am I doing..?
Tell the truth...
Looking at the world
Through mozes eyes
Totally Morsemerized

Can,t get much better than this
To one of my station..,
Nor could I handle more
At this point in time...

Starting to adhere to your pictures
In an even more stickly way..,
They really move me,
In my mentally immoveable way,
That must say something
From one who has nothing to say

I must leave,
A grandboy on the way
She needs the phone,
As women usually do
Can,t do both...
So I lose...
Yet never...
A loss with you to amaze
Me to disgrace..,

Worlds left to explore...
Qouth the dudley ,
Evermore..,,,,,,

Padugi



Date: Sun, 23 May 2004 01:16:49 EDT

Midnight is much too early to begin,
Sure that it's lately earlyTo a Halfican,
Gonna touch up my survival
Mexican..,

" Como say estupido..?

Gotta go,
For a smoke or two..,
Norte-American,
Sucks,
But I'll cheat
The thunder rolling in...

Gonna try to orgasimize my Files.

Tag...
Your're it...

Padugi



Date: Sun, 23 May 2004 21:11:40 EDT

In earnest expectation
My breath is held,
Soon we may stray again..;
Among the stars.,
And other Wanderlings.
Creatures nearly us,..
Some even more so,,,.
Few reckonised,..
Hence Unknown.

My best to you,
This empty cup runs over
So little for so much

Yet you send
A future unspoken
A dream we barely dared
Act like you cared....

I think you did.,.
Which I do,
A friend of Mine,,.

One who dreams in many languages ,
With worlds still unexplored.,
To leave behind ,.
Someday
One I adored,,.

Or will you take a moment..?

Gotta get fliyer...

Mozed All Of Our Love 2U,

Peed,..
Good for another elsewise lag,''
Holy Mozeez,
You are recirculating my life.
Don,t tell my wife.
She may guess...
Need never know..,

There are roads left to travel
Before others yet to find...,

Gotta practice my Spanish..,
" Tokensa Pablo ?..



Date: Wed, 26 May 2004 05:52:08 EDT

Arial you must be,
For now bear with my heartache
We must endure..,

Which in lameduck
Computer lingo-office
Pass the buck..,
It's worth a beer.

Out of blackwhole printing supplies
820 c was the only that matched
Not this all encompassing package
I've lost nights to survive on
May be a while
' Til I keep your illusions

Alive..

Smoke time,
Still Gonna Have one
Igot busy
Getting ready to jerk my meat
By Sat. I may be international
Mine Amigo
Wants his brother to try it
" It's the best ever .."
( I've heard this before..)

Hopefully I'll ahead on backorders
Enough to leave you a legacy
Of your visit

Mon amigo Goes home With MY jerky..!


May become international
He said the best he had had
Was some lady in Texas...
Though mine was the Best Ever.."

That's enough talk about you
" I wanta talk about me..! "
( Which in Padugish means something,
I think,Roughly On the Line of
A very difficult moment
Yet I have to let me go..( Jerky )

Lensmaster and queen,
How leisurely a visit
Might I be spared
Pray tell me when
That I may might take a day off
There and then

Overly unctous about this whole torrid affair
( unctuos I believe is a word,
Though wouldn't use this
As "youre Lifeline "
If you want to be..
A Millionare..!

Let me know more of your upcoming
Embassy
Come and visit
Let me prepare..Things that you like
New things to dare..

I would like an ETAtfor the PTA

I would enjoy extra time with you'se
Gotta go.,
You have to arrive
Or my soul is broke
My dream is aslumber party
If somehow that would mean games
And seriuousness
Swept aside
" I lost he wins who Tames "

Sure..,
Now I gotta
Do something to you..,
Send...



Date: Fri, 28 May 2004 06:46:20 EDT

Gotta fly into rest
Can't afford to to feather my nest
It's still better than the cardboard Dumpster
Which one night I callled Home
I wasn't squashed
Tho I appear to to have been
That was way before we began..,

My friend leaves today
For his native land...
A pound of my Jerky
Contraband..,

" Best ever..,"
Now mayhap's
I'm international


Gotta wee and go night night
Hope you heard my call...



Date: Sat, 29 May 2004 05:47:39 EDT

Wanted to talk
Not really listen,
That's not the way
To win another heart

Too old too regret
Miles never met
Ages that flew by too soon.
( Gotta pee..,
Maybe cop smoke..
toke...
But ell you what....
I gotta piss like a racehorse
Spelll correction sucks here

Now i may start over again

Many trial travels
We walked unafraid
As men..,
Would surely do again
Each hoping to do.
Able and Incompetent
The first is you
Then I
Gotta say..,

Keep me in your soul..,

Could use more agenda info
I would love to take a vacation dayor two
Before the 4th '
During,,,The beginning...?
The end....?

I pale in comparison to you

Between U @ O
O the heavenly voices
U a certainly light

Catching more of our memories
In hope of history
If there is a future
It began in the past
Let it all begin anew

For those about to die..,
We salute you

Hail

Padugi

uture I



Date: Sat, 29 May 2004 19:18:27 EDT

Often fail to feel
The colors of your skies
Wish I had a peek
At life through your eyes..,Trips and t
rips
( Fuck the typos,
I need to talk, )

Need to to walk awhile
If you've time
I cant't Picture you havingmuch to spare
I may have to steal a moment
Don't hate me if I dare

I speak to all of us
Don't be jealous
It's all to Moze

Q @ A

When ?
Who ?
I could seee....
Slumber party
With paul dudley
Yea,
Even my friends and clan
Kick the girls out
Play in never,
Neverland

Must practice
a poof

Let's hear if you get this
Then we'll know if t really works
Chick' I e mailed
Tommmm...Italked toyou
Jeff...No reply..?

Even the world on my own
IFlesh and Ink
Pales to your pastels
Colors I wouldn't dare
As you do dramatize

My world is Black @ White
Ergo 50/50
If even that..,
I may have been
At the DrinkoMart
Worsened the odds even more

Even worse
I see
Sometimes
More than I want to see
Not a burdon I prayed for
When you went to explore
Dreams iside a seed..,



Date: Mon, 31 May 2004 00:44:30 EDT

Caught I could
Your Mikerographs
I have ink again
Printed what it let me
Not enough
Downloaded finally
Got plenty of stamps
For my collection

I need a serratted scissors
To make it worthwhile..,
Hopefully.
Before youbegin
I will have this done
I think we both will love it,,.
So beautiful
It must be illegal
I'll show you then

'Til when.
Expect the paulest

From the smallest
To his new prodigy

Padugi



Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2004 05:58:46 EDT

After another twelve day
Bout with Flucol
It won by another six pounds my past
This was ferociuos and furious,
Hopefully tonight is the last..,

Feels good to pray
Don.t let me die this fast
After this sickening bodies moan
Let me me go...
If the die are cast,
Don,t let me wither anymore
In front of eyes Iwish to spare
The Wasting Of such Love
Meant for those who mean so much to me

What it will be..,
Won,t be known
If ever...

( I told you I don,t edit when I feel so much better, )

Let,s just say this letter

Is from He
Who has little to say
Yet craves another life with you
All the one,s
Who were the Shaman,s Blues

I.m hoping to see it
Before we drift away...

Gotta night night
( Plus I may still have Runs )

May haveto encourage the buzz of the Moths
( They cover up the smell )
Of that pungent
Philosoweed..,)

One more night night
Could mean years
If we're any

Not to be macabre...
Though 'We have been there
A time We knew
So litle shared
In th long story
A tale with little meaning
Except once we had dared
If they laughed,,..
We were the last who cared

There was warmth in a shared fire..,
Adream to get higher
Than this road we've never seen
Sometimes met,
Most often broken
By those who might have been
One of Us..,

padugi



Date: Thu, 10 Jun 2004 05:19:48 EDT

Trick or treat..!
I read and saw some of your excellence
Which has nearly met it's way
Into my my disbelief
Hoping you Are Truly My Eyes
As mine grow dim
I'll you evermore
Out of selfishness
Or prayer
For shared esteem...

O.P...um..

Fun to all
I'm ready to visit
Live...
Though I'm still a wreck
I believe you'll see past the skeleton
Somehow remember flesh I wore
Before this final war
Of time which cannot stop
Nor go on forever...

I think I need an Upper..!
O.P. enhancement therapy xlent

Kisses,
( Yeah right,..)



Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 04:38:58 EDT

years now
To a day
Seems like miles ago
Should have been swept away
Noone left to portray
Years now to a day

No doubt
There wad Sometime...
I should have been
A little bit more aware,
Who I was dealing with then

Lost, still remembering
Times
That may never be again...

If all else fails,
Let there be Dudley..!

Need your visit
Tell me I'm still worth living
I believe in you
I've heard your words in Color

Trust me to trust you
That's the faith I have
If you still love me
I will learn to love myself
Rid this uncertainty
Ariff, this world and I

Time for truce
Understanding different ways
Let life loose
Not belittle another's Face
All the same
Before the final Star
We'll all kneel
In ecstasy
Like old books said we would
Worship the Oneness
In a bond of brotherhood
Adore
The light of the Only Flame
The place you want to stay forever

......................Not religious........

Just me........................Padugi



Date: Sun, 13 Jun 2004 03:22:32 EDT

......Idid once wonder
Real...ity took care of that

Now I know
We are the settling of Chaos
Laughter in th Calm
Sail again with us
They pray



Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 04:41:23 EDT

Pick a day
I should vacation
Celebrate
The saturation
We'll soon find
As I get to probe
And share your minds

Pafdugi



Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 04:49:24 EDT

Master of Mirages
Mozemerize me more
Let the people see
The Eyes...
You were and are to me.

" 'Take another look my friend..
At all the things you see,
I'm sure that you'll agree
Life didn't turn out
The way we hoped it would be
( Jeff's Blessing, circa 70's )

My turn..,

I look forward to and dread
This visitation
You are starting to disfoggle my conceptions
What is real ?
Which amused deceptions ?

My day was once,
Yours I hope on it's way

Hoping still
To be able to walk
A mile or two uphill
Into your world

Down and out
Not yet down and under
Though Bill Collectors are licking their stamps
If they sell all my clothes
I'll head for the nudist camp..,

Barely alive again,
I'm feeling better...
No longer need to die...
Feeling stronger
Reenjoying what it is..,
To be high
And love every moment
As if the last.
You...
Live in my past
Always will..,

Yet a future still awaits
Usted and I
Gonna learn my Lingo
Before I go

Love to you brother and soul...

Padugi,

A friend of yours
A friend of hers
Affection and protection
As much I may,
An Invitation
To our holiday
A night in the sun,

I'll try for July 6
( I think all the concrete pouring Veterans
Sign up, years in advance )
I'll hope to chance
That would split my week up

I haven,t gotten close to getting halfway
To filing all of our corredespondence
It,s getting thickening
Page after page.,

Someday,
I pray

Padugi



Date: Sat, 19 Jun 2004 06:22:35 EDT

Mikey,
Here's me at my best...

At break I asked my boss
To check the Vacation List
To see if I could get 7/o6/04 off...

He collared me later
On an unpermitted smoke
Bored me to his office
Stopped at the calender by the door...
Pointing out it's a Holiday
Damn,
I'll have as much time for you
As you'll find for me

Missing your pieces of my puzzle..,

Padugi



Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 02:18:40 EDT

I think I deleted you last night
Fighting Spam
I think I zapped your reply

Soon,
We'll talk again
Under understanding skies
Laugh a bit,
Theorize..,
'Til then I apologise

I must leave a while

Padugi



Date: Sat, 26 Jun 2004 05:05:42 EDT

Tonight is the day I reconcile
To be the being free of God's ,
Let them each defile
Combatant Holy Places...

I for one have gotten old and brittle
Beneath my years a curse
I should die young or something worse
Never so lucky was I
Left a lingering memorialtality
Words were made to be spoken
Sometimes broken
Though not by the likes of we

As each are Us
We'll part again
Til then
Sleep call's my number
After standing in line...

Gotta go,
One more smoking pill..,

Padugi



Date: Tue, 29 Jun 2004 04:47:03 EDT

Starting from scratch
After years of scorching searches
Icy nights alone.
Memories bewildermind me
Nights you shared your homes
To the like of me
Better off unknown
A Wilderness of Aftermath
Though some say
A candle blown
Creates a nebula
We were they who lived as clouds
Vaporized ourselves in crowds
Someday shine again
To those who still see light ...

Sweetest dreams to those still awake
Once more this night I must sacrifice
Homage, Honor and Poverty
Back to the dreaemest.
Unwanted working moments

Oh well...

This night is nearly over
The year is still half-young

That sounds like me...

Padugi



Date: Wed, 30 Jun 2004 04:49:26 EDT

After careful thought
And well-wishing
I bid you a joyous journey
Into the interim of your soul
Sweet dreams my Dreamers
Let it never be said
I was intelligent
For they are those they dread

Enough spoken...
Now's the quest for bed
..,
Too much said
In a language broken
Time to look to ill-fated stars
For lost guidance..,

Seeking the witherto wherewithal
A Neandertal
To the Milkyway
Undecided most will be
As to to how I came prehoumously
To a certain life
Such tragedy and joy

I do admit has left me joy,


Padugi



Date: Thu, 1 Jul 2004 04:40:56 EDT

I'm listening
Such a song to here
Drawing near
A reareckoning

( Take " That ! " ) !

As needs be
Peace..,
In our time together
This Holiday of Freedom
We barely know

The sparks fly on the 4th
Watchable steps to share
For lack of the fuss to get there
We sit here
I smoke and beer
Illuminated
Outward and in
A pleasent journey
Within the farm

There may be bigger shows
But ours is outspoken
For a town lacking size
The steps it is for me
And definitely Beverly
In our own retirement home
After that it may well be some form of La-La
Or worse case scenario
Have a goodnight
2oz's in the water well
We shall not thirst
High time to spend some

Moments no longer in seconds
Hours go on for days
An eternity of everyours
From millions of years of clay
I'll see you again yesterday

Padugi



Date: Fri, 2 Jul 2004 04:47:09 EDT

Yesterday left in a moment
Again not too soon
A dreadful life I chose
To be one of those
Who Demystify the Moon
Yet make it marvelous

That is our essence
Children of the Stars
Pieces of your heart
May be older than the Sun itself
By Billions of years
We absorbed primordial leftovers
Became what we are
What is That ?



Date: Sat, 3 Jul 2004 16:05:51 EDT

Ms. in a can
To any who care
To comb the sand
I am who I was,
In a different way
Reliving the past
For a future day
Colours of youth
Fade onto gray
The Oracle of Nothing to Say
Has spoken
Any more nonsense
You must hear for yourself
In person
For the net has ears

Padugi



Date: Fri, 9 Jul 2004 04:04:42 EDT

Shared with friends beneveloacetic trends
I hope that doesn't offend anyone but I
Thought it well worth the time
So lasting then
For so short a reply
I offer up thanks
For the life I share with you
One of the living
Becoming all too few

Maybe not
Though the crowds cry for histerian roars
Life we knew back then
Seems to be no more

Student Counsils
Purvayorsites
Eaters of doughnuts
For a cause

My downfall
Anticipation
Of what never began...

gidupa


Date: Wed, 14 Jul 2004 04:03:14 EDT

What's so new ?
The address seems the same...
Unless this doesn't reach you in Time
In which case we'll rule that out,
Or more likely in.

Moze,
I already miss you,
Barely gone,
Mayhaps eternally...
One of us must be the first to see, ...,..., ?
All said and done
It was a good life
You were there !
I shared being along

Next roads should travel even farther
Not always the easiest way
You beside ourselves and the other I,
A jaunt to Mexico
$4th
Of July

Gotta scram,
( Actuallly Pooop,}
Now I gotta pee
Send for christ's sake !


Or not mortality


Date: Sat, 17 Jul 2004 17:47:07 EDT

Rarely was the moment so late...
I knew then, that I Would Never Know
Anything of use.
Self induced child abuse,
Never grew up
For fear of becoming one of "Them"

Maybe I lost the battle,
I fought with the best of men.,
To Honor defeat
Is noble..,
Courage , daring and boldness
The test within...
Let,s rebegin
The finality...

If doomed we are must be
We'll meet in Hell
If you still take my hand
There lies Heaven.,
You, my friend,
Have gone beyond where I might have been
You travelled far, far away,
Whilst I withered and turned to grey
Dwindling dreams..,
Of Lost Tomorrows
I wish to relive with you

Under Southern Skies we'll lie
Testing the Question..,
? Why ..?

I'm bewilldered
This cloud of Bliss has befogged myself

Really gotta g o o . . .
Piss on it
( I oughta Know )
Looking back forward to you,
Tittillate me more or less,
Tease me, if you will...
You have the talent to torment me
Which I see is not abused
Everything I Picture
Self-infused

I pray Send me a copy of your latest anythng

ppppppppppadaaaduuuuuuugoi


Date: Sun, 18 Jul 2004 19:49:44 EDT

Got your case of blues
Fresh news to my eyes
Nice to know you are awake
Afraid at times
I'm talking in my sleep

Really grogged out
No bug to blame
Just totally spent
After no exertion
Old age mayhaps...

Have never neared the entirety
You so graciously share
A page at a time
Most all I dare
So nice to have a treasure
Waiting there
Every night
A place to come home to...

PdudleyG


Subject: No subject my ass, You're my subject
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 2004 03:30:56 EDT


Date: Thu, 22 Jul 2004 04:15:10 EDT

Pictured in and on the roads travelled
Things or twice you dared.
Envy not being there,
Can't take the heat
Of any source..

You were there,
I see it in your eyes
Before the celluloid
A Master of surprise,
Images of aaaaaaancient and future times

You showed me
Things I wanted or needed to See
I hope someway
I've been good to Thee

Running out of excuses to stay awake,
Ran a country mile
At this point,
All I pray
Is someone goes the exra smile

,


Subject: None I know of, though we may differ
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 04:49:59 EDT

It's nice to walk home
Better yet to know there are two,
Though the one would be a Hell of trekkkk...

Missing you too soon yet...

Thanks for the film you share..,
Also the life we dared together.
If there is another.,
I would wish you by my side...

I think you know that,..
Why we share such love and respect
Each knows the time is spent
Already
So much left to know
Or think we do wish
To learn,..
Such was our quest..,
You travel well,
I wore out too soon ,...
Waiting for the " Rising Of thr Moon "
Well past noon don't you think ?

If ever a dream came true
There would be you.,.,
Someone I trust with my Afterlife,...And more..
Someone I adore
For
His everything....,,,,,

Thanks for the life we shared
You needen' but we did
Hopes for memories ahead
Even wedding vows
Only last until your dead,,,,

I'm not too rigamorticed yet ....
Please
Talk to me,..
I may be mute,
Yet I hear everything .

Blind as a bat
I use your vision...
Pictures of our World
Through your eyes
A depth of History,,.
Geography
Geneology of Celluloid
For our Archaic future

Better say I love you Before I forget


xoxoxox -Pgaiuttnes


Date: Sat, 24 Jul 2004 05:23:06 EDT

enjoy our time together
it is precious
moments in a lifetime
All so rare
so little time to spare

( Sorry no Punctuation, I'm saving my ink )

off for some smokes
we will return
Both our personalities
to haunt you even more
see you anyevery minute

i'm back..,
ain't that special,,.

( Oops , a capital or two slipped
and i made a punctuution
Damn me !
) like that already been done (

but i came here to soliliqwhine

like it or don't
one of Us leaves first
that's the worst part of being in love...
who's left to grieve
is the sufferer
my mother taught me that
At an early age
after jfk
how would a mother feel
to lose her young ?
sunk in and still adheres
after All these years

now with a new twist

out of selfishness
i need to go first
if second i know it will be the worst torment i've ever known
such is our God
noone can win...,
all because of an Original sin

} so much for originality,,.{

on a lighter note
flourescent bulbs

Psycho suits me perfect
If it's alright with you
gotta gotho
if it's alright with you
too many Bic's were lit
while relieving ourselves
hopefully life goes on
if not'
who gives a shit ?

On the happier side

You're amazing to my heart @ soul
which i need @ love you for

deadweight again gittens


Subject: lack of focus and it's intensity
Date: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 04:29:34 EDT

Hmmm...
I Am the onlyone..,
At this occassion
I'll do as I please
When and if I'm able to..,

Trace new whisps of smoke
Left behind..,

" That makes sense ?."

Mike..,
Shoot me
Tunes...
7 seconds
A shot...
Oly,
For the duration
An unsaid promise...
A dream we must pursue

We did so much,,.
We flatter ourselves
So little will remain
A moment of Vanity never hurt
An undernourished EGO

Beyond in my hope
Learnt to cope with Insanity
You surely know
Or you would be off my sacred list

Coming to an edge
I can't ignore
Nor bravely relish

The defamation of human goodness,
Esp. Children
Come,
I have only one service to offer...

" That is my sword .."
" The truth of My Word ..,
Should be enough..
For our underkind,,.

Us..,
or an overlord
Gotta send
I'm gone

Padugi


Subject: Destitution Reigns
Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2004 05:50:00 EDT

Now it's too late...
Forgot what I meant to say
Here in the middle of a godless life
But for smoke and flame
To fire up this night
I'd surely be loster than I am

The Past can be a long gone Future... middle ages...
A time of the present
Unforeseen

Or maybe not---

My how I wander,
Can't remember why
That's delicuos? delishuos ?...
Darn it was good enough
To disturb my referendem

Enough of procrotinies...,
Let's get to the point,
I'm exileaphated
Possibly worse,..,

" Able was I ere I saw Elba...
Or any other woman,.."
Napolean and Paulion

Us and them
Who are we ?
Who are they
Who must annoy us everyday ?

Candles blown out,
The good woman snoring,
Why would I ever want ?

No more moments
Time seems to come no more
Stillness and cacaphony
Blended in the Midst

Forever I'll know
Rememberance in the Wind
I
I give up!
Can't spell a four letter word...

Love me anyway***

Padugi



Date: Tue, 3 Aug 2004 05:24:08 EDT

In a moment of insterbition
I WONDER,.?
wHWAT i SOON AWAIT
iN hell..,
My blind date's Cackling at the furnace,
Pleading the Hour is In an hand

literate trespassing zone ,I barely missed them...
They'll find me now
Take away Keys
Try knew remedies
On the sure to suffer...

Must be be be time to sleep
One more smoke to fall down for
t
then Dawn arrives too soon
Gonna get prepared
For the fullness of the Moon
Peace at Dreams
Perhaps a never-be

A sholuld 've been
Never tto be

Paddugi
.


Subject: Refornication Of Religiocomedy
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 2004 04:48:46 EDT

We,ve been there too..,
Some to lands we,ll never knew
Distance can focus a dream
Tales told wonderful
Yet I grew up in an Microhood

( I did that on purpose...An...)

Now to the gist of the matter

I feel at times getting off of the ladder
Would seem success
If only there were a wilderness
Large enough for escape

The regress is in question
The Redoubt about to fall

Life and it's imitaters

Blue Jeans @ hygiene
Accceptable in blinded eyes
May miss
Other sights
We all realize
Everyone is busy
But those who lazerize

Padugi


Subject: Inebriatation and Good Judgement
Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2004 04:45:01 EDT

I am not an expert
Though well indoused
To this literature they call news
I , a failed reporter
Others who can ken ' 'why...?"
Can't draw within the lines anymore
A guitar out of tune awakens
Need for Harmony in it's rhythm
Rhyme, And reason..,
"Til then I'll age even more.
Though grey hairs don't always bring wisdom,
Especially ( as none was to spare)

Gotta do body things,
( I mean eat and shit like that )
You are what you eat
Chicken is done...

Live at you tommorrow..,

Padugi


Subject: Re: from scott in iraq
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2004 04:05:21 EDT

A ribbon is the least I can spare
For those taken to anywhere
In a dream they didn't want to sleep through
Nor wish any to share
A mad awakening
To what's really out there
Sadness that is truth
Lies forever swore
Should be no more
Death of lives mothers bore
Is unacceptable

We no longer need to be led into madness
Too often our origin
Fend for your mind
Or regret what it may have meant...

Letter from Paul the Castrated
To the Galellillians

Our you One of Us..?

Padugi


Subject: Futility Endured
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2004 13:12:13 EDT

Back to this smoke filled gloom
I wonder in,,,
A world of uncertain insanities
Surely to be Unknown
Misunderstood and broken
We wander here alone
In masses
To slumber now
Before the Baptism
Into Pagan practisses

The child shall be Blessed
Then I may rest in peace
I hope the last time isn't the next
Time left to love you more

Never too much time to love you enough

Better go..
( actually I think I gotta go, anyway )

Dreams of People Like You...

Padugi


Subject: The eve after religion
Date: Sun, 8 Aug 2004 01:58:30 EDT

Starting from scratch,
Again...
New life to the Oldies
And the never been,,.
Places I wasn't then
Long past familiar with
Though now and when
I wonder,,.

If I burble for words
Will they seek me ?
A truant of illiteracy
Vagrant usedtobe

I better sleep
Though I fear it practises the End
Oh hell,
It's past that time
In the future will you love me back then ?

Back then it seemed so fitting
Both willing we went apart
Now thoughts I'm regretting ...
Wonder where I failed at the start

Is there Love left for tomorrow ?
Faith was based on yesterday
Even well after In teachings well abused

( You'll get my point sometime.
Then you'll scare me )
A feather blown into the future
I hope falls your way

Lands my friend has travelled
Are newly to my dreams
Mexico
Double dare me to go
Me and my Amigos

If there is a God
He'll introduce Himself
Without any kind of shame
Denying He is any part to blame
For our shambles

I pray to the Heavens.
Not always at peace,,.
( That's the best time to pray )
Warring God's neglect the rent ,
Sometimes,
At the cost of your soul
And peace of mind
Still to find equaility
In warriors you'd rather not face,
Dare not flee or choose to fight
Such is the night opted


Subject: Prognostications Anticicipated, Accepted and Assured... By me, , , .
Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004 05:33:25 EDT

I can never cease to avoid some dreams
Which awfullly are of no use to vision..,
Maybe it's just me,
Life's missed ommission
Repetitive in a singular fashion
Dare we care anymore ?..,
Will it break our hearts too much..?
Can we recover//.
There is a fever of Myself ...
It burns..,
I would do anything ,
Not to be me ,
That's a gimme '
The curse I wear
Celtic skirt
With no armor
Killer of an unknown Clan's claims
To mediiarocketry
And sciencetesmology
Still in infacy
I ttoookkn the test ,,,???...,,,?
Give them the chec book
They,ll pay for the stamps


Subject: Fwd: Prognostications Anticicipated, Accepted and Assured... By me, , , .
Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2004 05:22:22 EDT

Call me a fool..,
That would be rightly
Just and noble...
I have earned the title.,
Need dare not turn it up,,.

Down came reality
After days of used to be
A future that sprang from the past
I pray it will not last...
Become some pre-before
Torments left to come

That would suck...

Time for an uncircumsised cigret

On another note..,
( say F Flat...)

We need to talk sometime
When I'm coherent
Damn ,
That means never
Which won't be soon enough
To satisfy my pique and pick.

Lyrics left to right
Day or night doesn't matter
Up or down it's all the same
Black or white
It's grey.............

My reality is withering,,.
May soon be lost again in the fog
Propaganditude
Our lives succsesors
Of the Preever doomed
( Make room for a new Lost Tounge, )

I drank our toast to the "morrow "
Hungover like yesterday
Maybe an eve or two before
But who counts Pixals

But you and I...

ple I wanted to be..,
Will erase us


Forwarded Message
Subject: Re: Prognostications Anticicipated, Accepted and Assured... By me,,,.
Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2004 00:16:21 -0700 (PDT)

I can't go to sleep.

Life is too strange.

I stood out on my back deck and looked at the stars.

In fucking credible.

How can specks like us be real, and have the chance to see the world

I mean the whole fucking world, universe and all...

too strange to be for real,\.lhoht

too fucko==ing strange

padugi wrote:


Maybe it's just me,


Date: Mon, 16 Aug 2004 03:33:17 EDT

One moment it is
Another it's not
Survival belongs to those who live
Not to those gave up everything
In a world of conquering
Blood as the price of soil
Upheavel of Gods
Dividing the spoils

I.
At peace
In futility
share this loneliness
And blues


Subject: Unborn reunions
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 05:32:53 EDT

So many years we never regain
Never again what once had been
Maybe never then
But that we searched
Found a whisper of a truth
we simple men
Changed everything in my world

I pray I may again
Search in the jungle
For distant relatives
Aborigames
And ours
And yours

Civilized now ,
I can barely scrawn my weathered withers
Out of the used to be
Part of We
Those of Us
Avowed in trust
Some who will still toast in faith
To each others Fate
Deserve to meet again
If not here in Time and Space...
When....?

Words may come too cheaply
Or at a price too dear to pay

Many who went away
Chosen not to return
Some so eagerly,,.
Young enough to burn

Go or we kill you either way
YOU are nothing
Have nothing to say
You are only here to do
What we need you to
Sometimes a prized possession
Isn't worth the fighting for

Qouth the Raven...Eleanore


Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 06:36:49 EDT

To think of terms so forbidding
Years of hope to go to endure
Fearing a sleep to early

Love and Peace
From youth, til immaturity
An aim for all noble men
Even some less improned
To do do otherwise was to live in vain....
Which I will never do again

" Last Cal!!!l "

Met a man i seem to have met ,
Though never face to face
In another time, place or show...

From death until dawn
My dreams are open
Not often agood place to be

The Moon must be lonely
In need of company
I must leave,
In secrecy

Huh?

Padugi


Subject: Being stranded in a household of my making
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004 05:56:54 EDT

A house of cards is impressive
While it stands
Monument to momentarity
Seconds everlasting cease to be
Anymore a certainty
Has been yet to see

It will fall down...

While we 're on the subject of sin ,..
Let's all try to forget my past,.?
Alright.?.
Even born again I died
At least a try was made...

That was only one of the people I were
" Til I met you and Me "
Now look what happened
A world of us...

Padugi


Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2004 02:58:21 EDT

A setting fit for a king...
My domain..,
A queen.
Keeper of my heart.,
Stepson and illigitamate heir

Time has forgotten me.,,
I hope not you...
Many miles to walk anew,
On legs quickly aging
A journey meant for few
If any
But Us...

I imagine a past that may have led
To a distant future
Which winds have blown away
To come too late someday..,
If ever at all....

Dreams as I sit awake
Bondage to friends
I seldom make
Yet few like you
Help me tolerate insanity
A maybe be

Though I fly alone
The spirit of St Paulus
Is borne in You
If any songs
Are resung to me
I wish you to be the one
To hear it at the last vivid moment
Of Birthality

I lost the members of my originality
At least, it's soon to be..
After that,
Who would invest ?
Records are broken by the unexpected
Sciencely neglected
Cause future inspectations

If only I were'nt prepared to die
Acceptance could be gracefully

Never mind...
I'm trashed or worse...

Padugi


Subject: Re: actually infinitely long would probably be incorrect, since it would zceg...
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 05:05:16 EDT

How dare you insult me with Reason..?
Do you take for such a Fool..?
I must be...
I accepted your word
We use this for betterment
In this world out for the worst at it's best
I lay my case to rest...
Insanity...
He tried to live amongst
Disreality, prejudice ,..
Outright HATE...
Unacceptable to one who would follow the way

If perhaps tommorrowwww...
Permits another day
I dream to spend the night with you
A quest not forgotten
Nor Undertook in our time..,
Such is the realm of Lethargis.
How tiresome his domain...
Later..,

Taking care of my needs...

Like talking with you at our liesure...

Missions to be won for no saviour...

Good enough for my agnostic ego ,
Scary to think I,m wrong

Bubbling under my hat
During a cold august night

Thinking to light the fire
Share and share alike...


Subject: Severity At the Hands Of Our Kind...,
Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2004 06:15:00 EDT

Tried to reach us twice
Dreams of yesteryore
Evermore seems too close away
From some unliven yestrerday

Maybe I drift..,
That would be the tide,,.


Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 04:45:49 EDT

In fact it never was...
Nor ever meant to be...
Alas, this reality
Seems destined to avoid
Epochs of misnormalities
Seconds that needs be hours

Another lesson in life
Next step I'll take
Could mean many roads..,

Getting too dead for travel
if ever a chance to go peacefully
Nudge me in the rear...


Subject: Insolent Invertabrae, Some hungry carseanivores
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 05:27:14 EDT

The animals are getting out of control...
We love when that hatens...
Men will fall down in this glory of Evil
Good may well be sacrifised
Saints even less reckognized
In this quest for the Destruction of Intelligence
Hatred for what could be Brotherhood
Let's rebuild a world We can agree to rebuild upon...
I will never be an enemy
In a friendly camp,,,.

I will surely surrender my sword in dignity''.,
Before I let it die in Disgrace///.
To Inhumanity
Paul Dudley's Face
Then to let it rest...
One slight unbearable,,/
Sometimes it's best to let them live//,

Are they even a worthy opponent?


Subject: Disopiated Cocktails, Dreams of yesteryore
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 05:52:17 EDT

I pray I might find myself In the loneliness
The loneliness of your bed...
Or mind..,
Emptiness is rampant or worse
,,.For our kind''~
Stay with me alittle while
A tiny space of your time,
Share with me

We each have many talents,,,
None stronger than the least
At least for younger ones...

As the leaves fall off my head..,
Children Spring
Meaning everything to us
More than anything..!

Bless the children of the children..,
May they prosper the earth~~~,
For what it's worth
We cared our best
Which we saw you knew
Learned to appreciate, too..,

That's the Curse and Blessing of growing Up
And raising others to do
What we all contribute to...

Decency for the infants
Lives lost
For new souls...

Paul to The Nonabstanians

Share a drink,
When we may
Until another day
I'll sleep this up
as we lay me down
A mere dreamer of yesteryear
Golden Days of Yore
And " Never Fear.."
We are always here..................

Time goes on ,
Will not nor can..,
Into the depths of impossibilty
Ignore insanity
Take responsibility
For What We Were

Future lives came from past
You'll be sharing tomorrow
In intimate caresses
With those so newly arrived

As for me ,,
" I'm for Her ,"
What happened to " One for All,.? "
I fear it is close to one...

...Left...

Twilight says " Bore No More.."

O.K.
Hell with you guys..?
In reply to ones I respect

I'll never regret my love for you

Padugi..?


Subject: Words Which No Longer Will be Lost
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2004 01:08:07 EDT

I dream to awaken yesterday
Loves and fears
Some say are overrated
Others declare nonrecieved

One more line while breath exhales...

If I did or died..,
I'll never need to know
Gone long ago
Moments of yesterwhich
Aknowledging Life's a Bitch

In terms of being noone
I'm someone some respect

Until tommorrow..
I'll remember the past
Predictions of the Longaway
And a 50% forecast
Indicating possibly unruly souls

An unprecedented amount of Apathy
Has come to Earth
I could care less,,
Or ask for more

Wakeably my worst slumber
Never blinking an eye I laughed
Equally I surely cried...

To taunt is Life's misery
To fullfil will never be there
Some sap the sorrow of Headlines
Just to be somewhere

A Lonely yesterday
Some friendless morning
Dawn of Futility
Then double-time
For the price of one half your age
X2
Divided by thenl
Another story
Yet to tell...

The Need To Say Goodbye]
Or Goodmorning


Subject: Life acceptable to Abnormaties...,
Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2004 04:57:53 EDT

Finally trying to not crawl to bed ,
Acceptance on my hands and Knees
As in Yesternought
But I enjoyed too much the dream....

In some moment at anytime??..,
A surprise in manyone 's dreams
A Life Never Quite Left behind..'!
As myself I Fear To Go ....

It's a long time since yesterwish???
Some Dreams take longer than Others
I believe I know
I well know Sleep
Not Now would I crave
Where I slept In such lost arms ..,
Battles of testerday....
Beyond our dreams
Even Horrifications
Proud to be amongst such preciuos dreams
Driftaways such as We
Accept it as acertainty
Noncomformentality

Will cost me a vowel...

Keep me at loss for words
I'd forever make the new one's
Newlife experiencesOvercome my needs
I am nearly done..

We wish for Life to grow
As it withers away
Years you did't know yesterday...



Date: Sat, 11 Sep 2004 05:59:37 EDT

Forever old
Youth seemed to be
An elder youth
Speaking to the ages

Someday after I leave
And have returned
We'll share the flowers,
Leaves,..
Whatever still burns...
In our salute to adolescence come of age

As we turn the pages
Agood story begins to unfold..,
Too opiafied to make corrections
So I must be right
Too many times you'd need a light
And found one with a friend

Way above .anything


Subject: Submission Accepted Finality
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:11:51 EDT

I dreamt we were walking lost in the rain
Alone in a wilderness of never was again...
What might have been
We can nearly reconcile
Our simialarities
Though so different draw us Close together
A dream unslept
A quest of forgotten youth
One immutable quest for truth...

There my love lies..
I'd gladly lay down my soul
To carry yours on to remember
What we set out to do
Some which we did

As an afterthought...
What was I saying//,..??

This isn't porno Spam
If I lay my soul naked..?

I am over my allowance
Can't afford to correct my spelling

Want to finish some Homes
Like "Aprils Fools"
a PLACE where weary wondered
Aimless fools
Lost in a certainty of Awe .!!!
I I fell for your spell,,.

It endeared to a loving heart
Life I may have never Known
Nor may have chosen..
But for our love,,.
We may have never been?'',.

Hopes left to live again
In Neverland
Lost until the morrow...
Dawn will leave the Sunset
As we surelely enter night
To arise again into starlight
Love to all
To all a good life...

Nothing better than creatures grazing together ..,
Beats useless battles
For Land Ungrazed at all....

Padugi


Subject: loss of life i've intruded
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 2004 19:15:58 EDT

If I wither away
Remember the boughs that gently sway..,
In this tree of mortality
The shade I provided
Against a merciless Sun

Travels as you enjoyed
Are my fantasy
Your world pictographically employed
For the joy us homebound invalids
Thank you for sharing a world I'll never see
To you from me
What an experience this life became
It may never appear the same
Upon return
The miles you wear
Are my hand-me-downs
Sitting in this Captains chair
Controlling the chaos
Boasting never dare
Yet we did
Still sometimes do
Because of you I still wander
Wonder in amazement
At the shortness of my fulfillment
A yearning to be reborn...
Thank you for returning Life
To an empty soul

In future dreams
Don't outrace me
I smoke too many things to catch up...
Which I'd surely share
If we were there in our used to be

'Til now I fear to awaken
So many wrong roads taken
Left myself in the midst of nowhere
I breathe in in the air
Stick out my thumb again
As I dream about my easychair

There are easy roads to travel
They seem to lead nowhere
Storms ahead..
I don't care

If the path leads to you again
I made it nearly home
Not necessarilly my own
Yet you said I'm welcome
If I could make it that far
( At least that's my reinterpertation of ago )

As of now I still believe we travel in communion
Souls together unwound
Kindred spirits of uncertainty
Still feeling for others around
Are those left outwhere ?

New journey's unplanned at best
Let our God's do the rest
Not even looking at a map
Walk into destiny
Some may never share
Unless they dare
To tag along
With the likes of we...

There are a few
Left of us
Who honor the memories
Of those who went before
Whether in battle or in concert
Together a madness to divide
Drove man to madness
Accept somene else's side

Not for the likes of I
When God and Lucifer seem to be equals
No faction to favor
In a war not my own
As agnostic
I'll fall or rise Halfway

If it's Limbo
Then finally I may sleep
Slumber
Come claim me
If there's another world
I'll bide my time
Not used to the one I birthed in
One world is enough
For a halfling such as I

Forever my Friends
Will forget me

Oh well


Subject: Defamation of Fame and Pubicity
Date: Sat, 11 Sep 2004 22:35:45 EDT

How so, Migueullious ?
Are there any listeners ?
Are there none to doubt as always must ?
Published in twitch langorousness ?
You have me at odds in this matter
For which I wish to get even...

Roll the die...
I won't even look.,
I trust my entire being
( Which I still love..)
To your judgement and severity

Deal with me as you will..,
I pray for return...
When I leave. though .
Perchance that may be redundant.
We may have overstayed our welcome already..,
Not the first time I've abused other love
Forgive me mortal qualities
For those are all I bear.

To become a God takes a resume'
Longer than my lineage
So I settled for serf,
Foolishly thinking it meant the ocean,
Which it does in an acidic way
The Ways of Man...

The way most should never suffer
But at the Hand Of Man
They do...
Hard to imagine a human so cruel
Would cause such pain For Attention
To an ancient cause

When men still needed to steal women
The cause was lost
Attraction seems to better the species
Yet war well determines
It will never be so....

All or Nothing...

In Nothing I rest,,.
Padugi


Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2004 05:57:30 EDT

I'm so alone in the dark
It's comforting to know
Ignorance remiss

Nothing to show but a shadow
How such simplicty
Becomes so complicated
The poor are underaged
The old too young to care
Where am I ?

Somewhere...

A place we pray to meet
Again,,,
Heads held high enough for our dignities
Respect for our used to be
Even if nothing more
I found enough love for my wants..,

My last wishes you already know
If I helped planting seeds
Keep them growing when I go

Miles so short in your prescence...(Sic)
Time flew swifter than we
To continue I would welcome
If not no bitter end...
Dealt a fair hand at the begining...
I am what I was
Because of what i wanted to be

Not blaming you for excelling me

Heaven forbid one might be happy
Gnawing leaves
It's still done
Among those I seek to meet

Do You still love me..?

I fear somehow I let you down
An insult to my dreams of you
The world you share with the World
The one I left behind
Because of misunderstandings

In you friends I have lived
So surely we will pass
A moment soon forgotten
Of woe, hail, alas

Until another reclamation of stardust
Presents or prevents this opportunity
I say once more...

Thank you for living with me...
I hope I wasn't a burden..,
Some say I was a song
Few knew the words to...

Padugi???


Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 04:00:17 EDT

Just the thought of returning to you
Hastened my pace
The joy denied too often on this journey
The simple pleasures we enjoy
Never asking beyond expectation
Such little time as we can spare
Bless me again your prescence and dreams
Share that look through your eyes
Of the actually it is
Though so few ever see it
Such as you...

I hope I did enrich your days
As you do mine
Truly there is Love in this world
Worth mortal combat to defend
No worthier companion could I seek
Back to back to adversaries against true peace

Not a fighting man..yet one who never lost ,anyway..
Call it even, they could leave in honor
Never disgraced a man
Publicly,
Which postnatal lingerers should have suffered
At my hands

I love the smell of open air and good smoke
So let's change the subject...
Oh Shit !!!

This is No Subject !
Padugi

How Quickly one forgets
On Painkillers
Places you thought you were

Time for a tinkle bowl...

Lost futures escaping me
As I watch the falling sand
The hourglass is filling
I'm nowhere where I can truly sleep
Too soon for invitations
To intimations of the Dark..,

How did I wander into such an abyss ?

Too many tinkle bowls.
Though never enough...

Gotta satisfy more craving
To " April Fools "
Spam you later...

Love,
Padugi


Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 04:35:41 EDT

Loss for words
Not my weakness
Nor verbosity my strength
Do what seems needing
A friendly acid test
Or worse and better...
Doubt it it
Or anything,,.

Time for a pause,
There is no such thing
Birth til death
A moments reckoning
If you're one of the lucky
May be only seconds
For some a life sentence..?

Who are we to Challenge

Gods so misaligned ???
Build a statue to the vain
While peasants seek shelter from the rain

Us lowly sorts
Need take care of the twixt

Until Passages through mortality
I remain..,

Honestly yours,

Padugi


Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 23:37:07 EDT

Woke up in yesteryear
Smiles and miles
Away from here..,

In sunlight
As in your eyes
I see something of your everything
Moonlight's mellow glistening
Calls to us,
Those unafraid of the Dark

Still have no time for Punctuation$

So take this site and love it !

This is gorgeous what you do,,.
Makes waking too long a time to treasure
Give me a hundred years
I'll trade you a Century
For a little plot on the hill
I could die...

Never so blessed
I live on
A malingerer
A tramp out for souls,

To Moze & Tunes too,
special dry dreams
Winterdust

I wither as I grow
Before I am next nothing
Thought I would spare a moment
Of unspent Love...

Feeling like Genie in a sponge
Squeeze me
If there's something to give...

It's too early to be late
I'll have to wait
Until tomorrow or the night after
On the drift of an unknown breeze
I float...
Hopefully to you and yours
Or even some inbetweenity
To Eternity I'm far in debt...

COD/Bs/padugicrap/.dumbskull.are you thair ?

Will I ever be here again?
I hope not
Once alive was enough
Two would be too much to handle
I give into sleep
For the rest,
I hope you find enough to recover
If not,
Dust that blows
Knows my fate...

'til then again I see tomorrowised
I'll sleep with your whispers
Tucked beyond my pillow
'Neath my highest expectations

Any moment,
Why are you awake...?
.... For My sake
To be next to you..,
Or need I run
Before I.m too slow again...


Padugiish Bowlshit


Subject: none whatsoever
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 04:58:31 EDT

Never a moon so bright I saw
A sun burning in the night
Craters totally unseen
I'll hide until it's light...
Then ride like the wind..,
It was beautiful, and fearsome.
An omen of a darker day.,.

Light falls on night for a moment
That's how I picture you,
A flash in the darkness
Seen by all too few...

Padugi-san


Subject: Re: none whatsoever
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 2004 05:33:58 EDT

The joy of another day
I wish.
Sometimes even for myself...
But for you mostly..,

So many images in this world,
You have an eye for it
I an ear in tune..,
Challenging the moon
For an orbit

That was should have been...
Look at us now
I crave the reawakening
Slept too long,
Yet slept well
Once the forsakening
Was ignored
I could afford
To be immodest,
Though I usually dress in words,
Did I didn't get myself
Into wounds that need dressing?

Sleeping on the matter only makes it groggy
Sleeping on the groggy doesn't seem to matter

I'm proud to say you're focusing
Perhaps preserving my life
Even the wife is not jealous of you...
You're renewing spirits too long kept asleep

Gotta peek at Padugi
Thank you for my future and past


Padugi


Subject: Utter nonsense or less
Date: Sun, 3 Oct 2004 19:39:59 EDT

Spent yesteryear with Oly,
Last sunstorm..,
I believe the day before this ,

Now I'm nearly back on land legs
Where the river cannot find me

Oly,
I had mispelled your adress
Hence the never shared,
Hoping I just fixed it,
If not,..
You'll tell me in year or two,,.

Need to poke at padugi
Thank you Mikey
For exposing myself...
( no pun intended )
Oly,..
For living the past of our future..,
Marge the magnifiscent
For a special love restrained...

To all and more..,
A special good evening
Good morning to All...

padugi


Subject: Have I ever ?
Date: Fri, 8 Oct 2004 05:38:54 EDT

Happenings are afoot
Galactic hurricanes
Overwhelm the shore
In the aftermath
New stars are born
As others fade away
Another day born of the darkness
From the cinders of yesterday

I miss the heavens
In and through your eyes
Though ever anon they return
New angles and colors in life
Frozen...

Walks home get longer
As I long so much for home

Let's leave it at that...

Padugi


Subject: obviously nothing of import
Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2004 04:54:05 EDT

The god's graced me home..,
& i feel like here,,.
Good enough for now,
I hope this woman knows me when I wake up
Wondering if I do ?

Who wonders at uncertainties and truths
As much as you and I ?
We possibly never are
Dreams we meant to be,,,

Still wandering paths of shadows
Ain't that just like you ?
Precious Everbeen
Love so true

We're not gay
Just happy
People need to laugh
Wish I could think of something funny...
But that would be a joke...

On the serious side..,
Let's have fun
Let the Games have begun !

Gotta go real soon
So I can look at you........................

Padugi


Subject: none allowed, under penalty of life
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004 02:06:57 EDT

Nothing to say so I'll say it
Fruitless pusuit
To an endless chase
Too far gone
To try to erase the origin

Am I the only one High enough
To understand this lowliness ?

I DON'T THINK SO !!!

Afterdreams follow the awakening
Never answered quests still sleep
Somewhat soon an unusual sunrise
Padugi. Moze ,and Oly
What a sight that would be,,!
History of the never been
Lord, to see that again!

" Til then I'll waste in medioracity
And unknown unacceptables
Making words as we need them
I hope it's not too late

Share my love with every creature
( excluding the spider that bit me for days
That one I wish to DIE )

E.R. say my loves
Never i reply
If I die...
The spider wins

Swelling going down to earthly standards
Fit enough to fight the little beast
Hiding somewhere not near here
At least if it has any sense

Time for one more bowl of Dreams
ooooooone ttooooooooo many gggooooooood thingssssss
Maybe come home in time for another look at you

Padugi


Subject: none of interest nor import
Date: Fri, 15 Oct 2004 04:51:43 EDT

Got a reprayer from Oly
Things are starting to smoke
Couldn't connect to a wrong address
Now we're aright
Yours, moze I mispelled
On my get me there...
It's still worth it to type you
By myself for the both of us

Tunes..
Bartender to the ultimate something..,

Let's play a little while...
See if Padugi really grins

Sudden love is overwhelming me
As time certainly does
Recent ancient picture
Of the rocketeers
Howie,
Eddie,
Mozez and I

Beautiful photo ..,
Reenjoyed by new eyes
A tribute to one of your gifts.......
As you have always been mine...,

Tunes,
Stand in line for worship !
I the first to buy a ticket
If i could come with you..,

That is definitely uncalled for..!
Just a wish..,

On the nonhormonal side...
I gotta pooop...
This is gonna be nice...
Once or twice
We fend for ourselves
My reality sooon to be left behind...


Subject: Wish I could think of one, founded dum in Galeslessness...
Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 05:04:43 EDT

Time for a smokes and rerigerator
Be back soon..,
You won't even miss
These few moments
But I will you...

Time for herbercial break...

Holy Cow !!!
That was worth every wasted moment .
Not a second too soon...

There's a Oneness developing
A known is where we've been
Where do we travel from here ?

Almost scary ..
Possibities unexplored
Yet songs already known
Even thirty years of history
We knew before the past
Leaves me dumbfounded...

A blast into the Past
Picturing yesterday
Through eyes of Mozen lenses
The grin was well recognized..,
That has to be you !
Years later
I reckognize

I'm falling into a Black Hole...
What a way to go,
Opposites attract ?
Will I meet the devil ?
He might not be too happy to make my acquaintance..,

Having travelled so much in space
I start to wonder
Is landing worthwhile ?

Some such as you keep me struggling
To praise your Love
Intermittently
Padugi...Aka...
pulsar


Subject: Sorry, We cannot allow a subject at this time, Please try again...
Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 16:37:57 EDT

Let's take a moment to be silent........................................................................

There, ..that seemed like forever.
On a less serioius side
I might add as follows...

Friends..,
Some never find them
Though they're offered and untaken
Others are surrounded
Engulfed in a warmness
That comes with true affection

You,
My e-mail trinity
Affect me very much
Thank you for Tolerance
Encouragement,
And authentic care

I have and had needs
You more than tended
Indebted beyond my means
If there is
We were

In these last flickering moments
I dream of you
Before Asleep
If I rise again
Will race the sun before the moon captures me

Petty thoughts from a trivial spectre
Haunting my own house

Went upstairs to close the door
Found fragments of the past,
Most still unopened for ages

Let' peek and practise

" with this ring I promised you my love,
In sickness or health
My entire wealth is You...

" with this ring
I promise to do
Everything I can to protect you
Care about,
My whole world...
You...

Slightly soberized copy
Call artistic liscence
If this is any Art..

Here's another to delete...

Knowledge these days
Is no longer the memory of Elders
Merely access to the past
Through other means,
Cut stone, roads, jewels. and radiated bones
Describing a time of come and gone
Of greats and unknowns

Knowledge,
Oft kept mystery
So most may never see
What should be
( the Earth is truly round )

Maybe War should stay with the professionals
Leave those of us
Who want to live in Peace alone

We're a Lost Species
But what a way we went..,

Padugi


Subject: A Whole lot of Nothing
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 12:04:12 EDT

In this emptiness
I search for an echo
In this lonelitude of mass communication,
In this search for self-indulgence
The pat on the back
Which costs nothing
Would be priceless...

Anyone out there?
Anyone care?
If I speak to no ears
It's still better than not talking at all
At least there is noone to argue
None someone to dare
Ask "What the Hell...?

I seldom make sense,
That's my gift
Of which disseminate freely
My knowledge of nothing
Would fill volumes

A void seems to be fulfilling
A majesty of the past and present merging
Pictures and letters
Even songs never sung

Sit by the fire one more time

Friends .I now know are precious
Jewels in an unearthly night
Light in a darkness
Totally bright

Warmth such as yours
I will surely need
In the bitter cold ahead
Times I surely dread

To hibernate instead is not an option
Fear, out of the question
We must dare on

What to lose ?
A past we may never have had?

We already proved we have one
Good for us...
Time to work on our future past
Starting now...

Time to dream of our losses
Pray for gains

We're only human
Not always an asset
Though nothing we should detest...
Make more from the little we are born with.

I really love you...
"Friends of Mine ":

Padugi


Subject: Mike won't let me have one..., Hence no Subject., ,
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2004 21:00:24 EDT

Way too much to do
And the night is over
Time with you is never in vain,,.

A certain sleep
A destiny forebodend
Cast into the wind
Of the never been
Soon enough...

" Good God Who Writes Shit like this.1? "
Sorry it's me,.,
Though not really
It's all I am to offer
Not enough pride left to apologise

Let's share some pregoodbyes

I Love very Essence of your Souls
Urging the Bull
" Stay alive.."

A new desire to crave more time overwhelms me
If it would be with you
See the colors in the eyes
Of the meant to see

Cherished children
We will never be

I even wonder if I was..?
I believe I existed,,,
Fealt the Pain,,
That's acertainty past doubt
Shadows that never left the night

Sometimes I just wonder for the Hell of it..,
Doesn't matter...
No song needs come to mind
Though you're there in the melody
Next to me,,.


Subject: I'll only get in trouble if I dare
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 2004 04:36:00 EDT

Sweet bursts of past. pleasant and Future
All of ours...
Men of honor
Women sometimes in armour
Most on the quest for the same,,...
Love Like Perhaps Tooo Few Knowwww....
There is beauty amongst Friends
And a burdon easily carried
Though so heavily worn

Tonight I suggested RS& BB
Possibly

Heaven's a Greenhouse
We maybe were kinda stupid
Spending all this time and money
Even physical pain
Though ever it's worth it
Until only one is left to remember
Besides the last.....

When you're born
Shouldn't we just die and go to heaven....?
Why the travail inbetween,,,.?

Scenes of horrible realities
Determining our blood
Too often spilling it, at once brave and pointlessly..,?

New rearisen hope
On the horizon
Hoping to meet myself face to face
Never been done man to man
...If I ever was...
We'll find out,
Or somehow learn to be ashamed
Though I truly doubt that
Most were proud to be
" Friends of Mine "


Subject: Don't even think of it. It's Padugi... He don't get one...Damn you Moze..
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 03:24:03 EDT

Allowing no subject
How do we arrive here..?
This unasked future is waking
In spite of my dreams..,
Dare not nap
Nor do what Life Dreams...
Though wished for
In my deepest slumber

There is certainly unfolding a Future..,
We saw the End of before it started

That's how good we were
Prophets of gloomy happiness
Forestalling the Doom
Forbidden places we had to go
Nessesarily together
In some ever changing room...

Thanks be to us,
Or it may never have lived
We did ,
Some are amazed,
In the Olden DaysWe never sped to be so new ...
Life sucks as bad as my lyrics

Can't even say that's not my fault
I'm the prisoner Last left in Charge
Of Nevermore and Forgetmeland
Sleeep is
must
Pdg


Subject: Nothing that comes to Minds
Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 04:11:26 EDT

A short leg of the long roads left behind us
Awakens to finallity's rudeness of truth...
To spend that dream with you..,

Have to share some time with you
This world or a future
Thanks for the past...

Roads seem shorter now
Where one dare not go,
Years ago the gates were open
Suddenly sealed with
" This is Mine "
Asinine...

Something I feel stirring,
Maybe the Wind.
Though we should listen,
I fear we'll hear a sound
Deafinings of what we never Quite heard
So glad you're here
Happy I am too...

Because of yous'ses
I want stay a tad
No more nor less
Than this Forever Uncertainty

Late ashes would suit me well
Who could care.."
If they're Landing in Hell
Time may Tell,
Though the ears of this computer

I do thee wed...

Padugi


Subject: Padugi is one to subjects, Damn fool laws !, I say...
Date: Thu, 4 Nov 2004 05:27:42 EST

Time to annoy my friends
This would be you...
The irritation would be me..,
Now that we have that settled
Let's settle our in commons
Share the treasure left
Dreams we had to follow
When more than one had them...

Love IS truly a blessed thing !
For the One of Us
We left quite well
Beauty brought to spirits and souls....

Later years of sweat and pain
Have not broken the joy of my youth
Not any more I fear much of anything
We're already dead
Enjoy the burning ashes
Soon to be our own

THAT'S REALITY!!!

not Padugi in his best form is it ?

No, not really.
I think it's a crock of shit...
Should be banned internetlly...
And his mouse cut off in public
Or even in front of people

Deserves what ever he gets for wasting my time
Will never write as him again...
I swear to God...
That's that's a Holy Lie !

Being disconnected I can only discommunicate
When asked if I lost my mind
I Wonder Was It there at my birth?
Mother never told
Though she knew so many tales

Families sometime fill the closet
With skeletons and uncertainties
Friends of Mine...
Listen to the lack of wind..,
Abscence of humanity on even primative levels
Forboding is not paranoia
I'm afraid to say

( Mduck, Anyway we can conk Padugi..? )
This is a little bit tiresome...
Don't he ever sleep..?
No...

He doesn't have a life we've heard
From paid informants
Son of a bitch stays over the witching hour
Because of unlimited minutes
I would bet he's listening to this
HaHa I can spam forever !

Never in million more years
Will yesterthoughts be so grand
We were here together..
dreams come true
From slumber unremembered
To a wish come true
Because of you I am what I was
Never again.
For better worse we shared downfalls
Downers,
And lower yets,
( You know it's time to go to bed
when you're calling yourself names..)

Cursing myself
Is a not a good way to go...

Bye

If nooneone reads this they're the luckier,
As for me,
I wouldn't waste my time on this psychobotttle
I've better things to do

I'm gonna play the jukebox
Damn !
There's Padugi
Can't stay away from him
Because that's me in thin disguise
Wasting neverbeen to be again

Check the mail,
Don't get none
Unless I count Viagra in my new buddy list

" Friends of Mine ,
Even enemies,
I withdraw my sword..,"
I will not battle anymore
Life is a garden
Not Battleground..,
What's so hard to accept ?

Fellow creatures of my kind...
We should unite
Just to Piss them off

Holy Hell !
I'm on the wrong road !
I thought it must start here
Though no lights warm the highway
Nights without even myself
Aware of the moon
Mocking the morning
To a never yet have slept...

Pathetos..


Subject: pdudley defeats padugi in final round. Boy is he ticked at himself..
Date: Sat, 6 Nov 2004 05:19:04 EST

It was inevitable
Padugi was damned from the first
Now pdudley the worst
Will take the screen
Horror of Horrors,

Anewly mutated padugi,
Pdudley,
Scourge of Man
That's some unexceptable next step...
Forced upon by womanhood

Pdudley !
As i'm sleeping on the bar
Clothed only in Newlyborns
Grasping for my Neverwear..

I don't know if I like pdudley
He's kind of too earthy
I don't really like to see my soul exposed
Is he looking through my windows ?

It scares me more than some movies...
There are people out there
Using their minds
Good or for evil...
Ultimate choice
Do you want to join the dance..?
Or dominate it ..?

Be a Prick, Princess or Priest
Not a choice I fear
Never graduating beyond the beginning
Never a hope of winnning
In youth, losing was no fear

Pdudley !!!!
Damned near threatend my very existence
If I wouldn't care,
If it didn,t think I lost you in indifferance
I'd cast his soul to Hell !!!

Worthless Lush
Ran out of Mindfood ?
Yes...
Now I,m merely a mortal
Send me some dreams
Sleeping back to back
Is the ultimate trust...

Pdudley shrinking ...

Tunes...you know....
Oly ,tommmorrow...
Moze................there are no words........................


Subject: Lack of subjucation
Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2004 00:53:31 EST

Mikey, that deathfully beautiful !
Your colors fulfill the night
Pinnacle of my day...

It was suggested
I reassume pdudley
From one of the trinity,

What the Hell..,
Here I come,,,

Changing my name has'nt fooled anyone
Everyone knows my misnomers
There will always repeat the echo
Sung to a lost canyon...

Lucy the pug took me for a walk
Damn near thought we near Oregon
Almost looked like Hawaii,
The way the oceans in my eyes sought the Earth
You thought padugi was bad...,

Now you asked for it!!!
Total verbal abuse
No survivors!!!

Ms. From pdudley.....................

As of now you are doomed,
pdudley is not one to take lightly.
A formidable a foe, slightly.

War with words
Induced bewilderment and wonder
Noones pushed me off the bed yet..,
So I resume to chaos the night
Hoping someone scares me back

Once and forever I'm awakening
Alas it took too long...
Late came the season of my youth
Quiet holds no resistance
Only acceptabilty
A formality of an end

It was good...
Times we had when we had time
No regrets This is not the blues

A yet to come
Of loss ahead...

Wishes and dreams still overcome
This soldier of unrealistic causes

pdudley


Subject: seriously..,
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 2004 22:36:48 EST

the descision wasn"t mine by choice,
somethings just happen
It seemed easy to contemplate once,
at a distance the future appears so far
The speed of time/light travel

Plans are made
Arrangements planned

Ihear the distant cadence of the drums
The thunder of marching armies
Power fills the air
I share the others fears
And then mine alone

I'll battle in deadseriousness
To at least draw to a tie
To create an uneasy truce
In a war never won

Time to dream again
Rest before I sleep

Great Love,

padugi


Subject: the importance of Poop
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 22:34:43 EST

It really is..,
but you know that. I'm sure ?

OK,then...
The carcinoma is around the Esophogus,
And there are at the top of lungs some spots
We,ll be going with Chemo as the treatment
Nov30 I get a port installed
Before the actual chemical regimen begins Dec3rd

Lot of Love and Caring going on
Amongst the chaos
Spirits are strong
The body weak,
" Time for my NNAP!!! "

Great Love,
padugi


Subject: One not to be avoided
Date: Fri, 3 Dec 2004 13:25:57 EST

12/ 03 / 04

oFF TO SEE THE wIZARD,
tHE WONDERFUL wizard of odds...
Whatever hope there is begins anew
Time to dress for battle

Great Love,

Paul Dudley


Subject: Hooked on drugs
Date: Tue, 7 Dec 2004 09:24:03 EST

14 hours into the real thing...
So far so good,
But it's only adrip in the bucket.

Tonight I get my christmas present !
Bev's two youngest,
(Kelly and Kari) .
And their spouses,
Went together on a new computer !
Bev kinda cried when she heard,
They know how much it means to me..,
Even moreso when i found out
The youngest couple postponed buying their own Laptop
Because they couldn't afford it !
I guess they all like me
Now that I'm awake.

If I find any lucid moments
Lurking in Tra-la-Land
We may be spamming it up again
Hee. hee. heee...,

There's been a whole lot of love
Lifting these weary bones.
" One more step "
" One more day "
What can I say..?

Ive been blessed enough for one life already,
Taking what comes as it may
Only one way to play
The rest of this hand

Strike up the band !

great love,

padugi


Subject: At a loss for words, nonetheless Subject
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 11:21:17 EST

Do the God's war amongst themselves, Or merely send their gangs of thugs ?
Holy wars seem such a waste and sin...
Slaughter the innocent to achieve the heaven reserved for killers.
Attrition, famine to rule the helpless,
Lead the lemmings to deeper waters.

Evil in masquerade,
Faces of duplicity.
A conspiracy of the disorganized and petty.

Destruction of the gallery of Life,
For territory and profit,
POWER !

Who wins may rule over the Dead,
( Not a lively crowd )
The milieux of madness caresses it's disease
I pray for it's self-destruction,
So we may plant again
In Hope of another Spring...

Great Love,
padugi


Subject: Test one...
Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:17:41 EST

Great Love to all,
In the spirits of giving and recieving, some thoughts...

This year I certainly seem to be recieving SO MUCH !!!
Thank you, family and friends, You are the greatest gifts of all,
Presents that open themselves and are cherished forever.

The only thing I can share with you,
Besides my Love, Is my Good News !

Had a follow up blood-test today,
Half way through this first session and the next
They like to monitor levels of possible concerns
To determine adjustments if any,
Or even the feasability of continuing at all.
I was scared and curious.

The Nurse came back with my results,
No dark angel at all !
She absolutely beamed !
( Or so it seemed )

On a scale of one to ten,
(Ten being highest )
How would I rate my pains, fatigue, appetite, etc..? Nausea ? Diarhea ?
I only had two catagories I rated 2 !
Excellent we all agreed
( Bev was there as my Practical Nurse )

The blood results reflect several things,
They all looked really good
Red cells right in the range they want
White count was one point OVER the expected Optimum !
I started treatment weighing a hefty 109#
And they expect weight loss to be experienced,
I Gained four pounds !

I couldn't pass a tinkle-test,
Never studied for that anyway,
But my blood is Mensa material !

Hoped to share a little of my relief,
Give the prophet of Doom the Holidays Off.

To All,

Great Love,

Paul Dudley


Subject: In the proud tradition of No Suject...
Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 14:41:03 EST

Of Course !
I thought maybe I was starting to repeat, hammer and clobber the same old dotings,
Hopefully a new rebirth arises to the Close Encounter.
I return to your site and heartland so often,
But like a Piscevore surrounded by shining schools of motion
There is SO much to choose from.
I usually cheat and end up at padugi,
That 119 pg Babelogue...

I finally maximized the last photo you sent,
Cropped, centered and uncircumsised
All kinds of buttons and arrows and blinky things.

Then I punched the Spit Button on the printer,
There it was ! Beautiful !
A true Mozeterpiece of Art,
A moment in your Realm,

Someday I hope to duplicate the rest of your Mozetique
From the others I still have filed

Time to finish my resin,
Smoke a store-death
Launch a torpedo at the TidyBowl Man
Lay down and launder my dreams...

Blessings , Cudos,
To a World-Class Friend

Great Love,
padugi


Subject: Ode to No Subject
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 12:52:11 EST

Dearly Beloved,
Blame Mr.Moze if I once again take a byte of your world,
He still has an appetite for the absword and mundane profane.

For toilet-training and snickers
I did a search on the net for " padugi ",
Cool, they saved me the first two spots !
The first references are two Comments to Mikes bivisual world,
Damn ! He's great, And I've still to taste most of the riches.

The second listing is actually his whole chapter
Called " No Subject"
by padugi

So far I noticed 119 pgs.,
With no commercials.
With our permission,
He'll add to the perdition !

Bev went to shop for the two people whose names we drew...
( Hope two bucks was enough..)

I better free up the phone for a while
In case Santa calls for advise...

Great Love,

padugi


Subject: Note to the teacher
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 10:37:26 EST

Dear Ms. Appelgrabber,
Please excuse my saintly son's abscence these last few days.
He slept through the last 24 hrs. and hence could not sleep through your class.
He seems to be doing better today, as he made it all the way to the couch.
He's talking much better when he's awake...
I asked if he would care for some coffee,
And quick as a corpse he replied " Nghhgnghhuachtooey..! "

It was pretty scary for a while.
The dog dug a hole in the rug and was trying to drag the body to it...
(She sure loves to play ! )

As the year comes to a close,
It's time to get the soap, shampoo and Liquid Plumber ready.
I'm going to liven him up, if it kills him.

Is there a statute of limitations on the sixth grade ?

He's been Hallucinating something fierce,
So I know he's feeling better.
He does spend a little too much time in the Yellow Pages
Looking up " Dealers and Smugglers ",
But it's nice to see him take an interest in his hobbies again.

Jan. 3rd is the next go'round,
For better or worse.

While he's been absent we've been working on his alphabet...
( He loves the chicken parts ! )
Toilet training has been more difficult,
I try to convince him to do the Origami works FIRST...
I'd better close now,
While there's still some tissue left...

Thank you for your patience,
(It was nice of you to say." No Hurry ! ", )

My Mother


Bonus Short Subject!